I Used to Know
by FanOfRandomThings
Summary: When Arthur accidentally eats rat poison, Merlin has to save him with magic. Arthur only half remembers the experience, however soon Morgana hears about Merlin's supposed magic. With Morgana trying to get rid of Merlin, and Arthur now unsure about where Merlin's loyalties lay, the warlock is in very deep trouble. Will he be able to prove himself? eventual hurt/sad!Merlin No Slash
1. Prologue

_So this is a story completely co-written with **Anna Davenport**. She's another user on here; you should totally go check out her stories! (She's writing a Merlin one!)_

_IMPORTANT: This is an AU sort of thing. Arthur is king, but Morgana has not yet been discovered as evil!_

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><p>"I, Arthur Pendragon, hereby announce that Merlin, my former manservant, is to be detained until tomorrow. He is the first example of why magic of all types had been banned from Camelot. The sorcerer will be executed at dawn."<p>

It was with a heavy heart that Arthur so condemned his friend and former servant, but the morals of his father were ingrained deeply into his heart. All magic was evil- it always had been and always would be.

In every attempt on his life, somehow magic had been involved. They had never found an explanation for the source of the magic, until now. No one besides Merlin would be impetuous enough to expose himself in such a manner. Arthur wondered what Merlin's goal had been; to take his life or simply make his life miserable, because he certainly had done a good job with the later.

According to his father's traditions, Arthur had no choice but to detain him in the dungeon until dawn at which time he was to be executed.

Arthur made his way slowly to his room where he sat upon the bed, running his hands through his hair.

"Merlin!" He called, then his stomach dropped in realization.

'_Okay, no, he's not your friend anymore. He is a sorcerer, he has betrayed you_,' Arthur reminded himself. Still his eyes drifted toward the spot where Merlin had always stood at attention, ready to follow Arthur's every command, more or less.

Arthur groaned as he realized he had no choice for a manservant other than George.

"George!" Arthur shouted, and then screwed his eyes shut as he mentally prepared himself for the most boring week of his life with George until someone new could be hired.


	2. Chapter 1

**AN: **_Don't own Merlin blablabla usual stuff :)_

_Again, written with **Anna** **Davenport**, half and half!_

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><p><em>Some months previous<em>

"Merlin! Where's Merlin?" Arthur stormed around the castle look for his friend and servant. Merlin had jobs to do, including mucking out the stables and polishing Arthur's armor, and he hadn't even gotten Arthur breakfast yet!

"Have you seen that insufferable servant of mine?" Arthur asked as he encountered Gwaine, who nodded.

"He's been in Gaius's chambers since the wee hours of the morning. And before you ask what he's doing there, I have no idea..."

"I don't care; are you sure you don't know what he's doing there?"

"I just told you Princess, or tried to tell you, I don't know." Gwaine said adamantly.

Arthur stomped away in the direction of Gaius's chambers and slammed the doors open to find Gaius experimenting with some new ingredients.

"Where's Merlin?" Arthur demanded, to which Gaius nodded toward Merlin's room.

"He's been in his room all morning, Sire." Gaius explained.

"I _thought_ he would be," Arthur muttered before throwing open Merlin's door.

"Oh, Arthur, uh hi! I was supposed to come to work, wasn't I?," Merlin glanced up quickly as Arthur stormed in. "Is it that late already?"

"Yes Merlin, you were supposed to be at work an hour ago. Where's my breakfast?"

"You know, funny story, that," Merlin shuffled around awkwardly. Arthur did not look amused. Merlin cleared his throat. "I'll just go get your breakfast."

"Yes, do," Arthur agreed.

"You could always have George fetch it if I am late you know." Merlin called back as a parting comment.

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><p>Arthur paced impatiently as he waited for Merlin to return. How long did it take one to get breakfast, anyway? Arthur eventually leaned against a wall, frustrated, when a golden wine goblet sitting on the table caught his eye. Arthur's stomach rumbled loudly.<p>

"Oh look, wine. Since Merlin didn't bring me my breakfast, he shouldn't get his."

With that. Arthur downed the wine in two gulps.

A few moments later, Merlin came in with a tray of food. Arthur turned to glare at him, and motioned to the empty goblet in his hand.

"What in Camelot did you do to this wine?" Arthur commented. "It tastes... odd."

There was a clatter as Merlin dropped the tray he had just brought.

"Merlin, that was my breakfast," Arthur complained, looking down at the meat and cheese on the floor, as Merlin stared at him in shock and horror.

"How do you feel, Arthur?" Merlin swallowed uneasily.

"I feel just fine," Arthur said as he swayed clumsily, and Merlin grabbed Arthur and led him over to his bed to sit down.

"Do you feel dizzy?" Merlin asked, clearly worried.

"Merlin, why is the ground shaking? Make it stop Merlin," then Arthur's eyes rolled back into his head and he became limp.

Merlin paled and shook Arthur, to no avail.

"Arthur, wake up!" Merlin begged, however Arthur remained unconscious.

In desperation, Merlin slapped Arthur's cheek, but Arthur made no response.

"Gaius!" Merlin shouted. "What should I do if someone drinks that new rat poison I was brewing?"

"Merlin, what did you do?" Gaius stormed into the room. "I have told you many times to not let anyone near your concoctions."

"I may have inadvertently poisoned Arthur, maybe, possibility; I'm not totally sure but he's not waking up..."

Gaius hurried over to the unconscious king and placed a hand on his brow.

"Well?" Merlin asked.

"Did you follow my instructions and find a cure for this poison?" Gaius demanded.

"Uh, well, I, um," Merlin hesitated, a thoughtful look on his face.

"You didn't," Gaius ran a hand over his face.

"I can!" Merlin spoke up. "Now! Thing is, though, I'm not totally sure I can come up with a cure that fast… Maybe I can come up with a spell though!"

"Well you'd better, because in 28 hours Camelot will be without a king if you don't," Gaius warned.

Merlin's face fell, his eyes widening as he realized he might very well kill the one he was destined to protect.

"Anything I can do for you now? I could bring something!"

"I'll get everything that's necessary, you go work on that spell."

Merlin nodded uneasily, swallowing again.

"At least I know the potion works," he stated, before he scrambled away to look at an old book he had stored on his shelf.

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><p>Merlin tried spell after spell, glancing in his book for new ideas. Merlin didn't bother to eat or sleep as he searched tirelessly for some way to help Arthur. Gaius brought him some lunch, and then some dinner, however Merlin didn't touch either. 18 hours had gone by before Arthur's eyes flicked open. He looked dazedly around himself, before his gaze landed on Merlin.<p>

"I did it!" Merlin yelped as he clapped his hands. Gaius came rushing in hopefully, only to lose his look of hope.

"His eyes are dilated," Gaius pointed out.

"Yeah, so?" Merlin asked. "Is that a problem?"

"It means the poison is still at work, it's simply moved to stage two."

"So my spell didn't work?" Merlin asked, crestfallen.

"No Merlin, it didn't. You'd best get back to work, I'll check on Arthur."

Merlin watched the exchange between Gaius and Arthus subtly, his brow furrowed as he looked through his spell book for anything that could help Arthur.

"How do you feel, Sire?" Gaius asked, attempting to hide his concern.

"Merlin!" Arthur called, as if his manservent was not in the room. He looked around wildly, his gaze traveling over Merlin several times before he turned to Gaius and asked. "Merlin, has he left? Where'd he go?"

Merlin sighed and glanced at Gaius, "How long is he going to be like this?"

"As long as you take trying to come up with a cure!" Gaius replied. "I'll get a cold cloth to try and bring down his fever."

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted again.

"What?" Merlin stalked over to the bedside.

"Merlin, I want Gwen," Arthur said, suddenly sounding quite pitiful.

Merlin hesitated at that request as he really didn't want Gwen knowing he had poisoned her love.

"She is gone, away," he stammered out the excuse. "She went to visit family in…" Merlin paused as he realized he had no idea where her family was.

Arthur's head fell back upon the pillow, giving no argument, which only further frightened Merlin.

"Arthur?" Merlin poked Arthur in the shoulder. When he got no response Merlin turned back to his book and flipped through pages of old writing. He murmured a few lines of Celtish, while pointing at Arthur with his hand. Arthur remained unresponsive, however as Merlin sighed and flipped through the book uselessly, he noticed that one page was dog-eared.

Curious, Merlin opened to the folded page, and his face lit up. This might be the right spell, however he had to make sure he wasn't wrong or it might have bad side effects.

As Gaius walked in the room, Merlin pointed excitedly to the spell, but Gaius's only response was to shrug.

"I wouldn't know," he told the young warlock. Gaius placed the damp cloth upon Arthur's forehead, causing the king to moan.

"Why is it raining, I thought it was summer time," Arthur mumbled.

"I don't want to cast it if it's the wrong spell," Merlin told Gaius.

"We only have 9 hours Merlin, I think it'd be best to hurry this up."

"Merlin, why is it sunny now? Such odd weather we get these days. Merlin, change it."

"Well, I guess I could just try the spell..." Merlin's voice sounded more like a question than a decision.

"You have to believe in yourself if this is going to work, Merlin. I believe that you can harness your power and heal Arthur at this crucial time"

"Okay okay, I'll try," Merlin turned to Arthur as he mumbled to himself: "No pressure or anything."

With a deep breath, he began chanting in an ancient language, his eyes focused steadily on Arthur. Sweat began to bead on Merlin's forehead in his concentration. Several times his eyes flicked from gold to blue, and back to gold, however Arthur seemed to be falling asleep rather than getting better.

"Come closer," Gaius told Merlin. "Don't stand on the opposite side of the room. Perhaps you'll be better able to concentrate."

Merlin took the suggestion and he came to stand beside Arthur, his eyes golden.

'_It's not working!'_ Merlin swallowed uneasily. '_Come on, work already! Please?'_

Merlin's hand began to shake, and then hope rushed through him when Arthur's pallid coloring began to change back to a healthy peach.

"Keep going, Merlin," Gaius encouraged, and Merlin whispered with more vigour now, completely caught up in the spell.

Merlin was so caught up in the spell, in fact, that he didn't notice Arthur's eyes flickering open again.

"Merlin, wha's wrong wi your eyes?" Arthus slurred, which Merlin's gaze shoot down to stare at Arthus in horror.

"Merlin?" Gaius glanced questioningly at the young brunette, who set his mouth in a hard line.

Merlin's eyes flicked to Gaius before he spoke.

"I have to keep going or it'll all be for naught. I have to finish!" Merlin told the old man, who nodded slowly. Arthur was rather delusional, after all. He'd never remember this once he was well!

"Merlin, what're you doing?" Arthur slurred again, however he seemed to be becoming more aware.

_Ignore his question, _a small voice inside of Merlin said. _Just keep going._

"_Altraim a-nis*," _Merlin finished, and his eyes faded to their natural color. However, Merlin noticed with some unease that Arthur was staring at him with far too much clarity and confusion.

"What was that about?" Arthur's voice had returned to normal, annoyance and all.

"Er, what? What was what about? You'll have to be more specific," Merlin told Arthur before glancing at Gaius nervously.

"I mean, what was _that _about, with the glowing eyes and the hand," Arthur tried to sit up, however his arm collapsed and he fell back against his pillow.

"Careful, you're very weak, Sire," Gaius help Arthur to sit up.

"Yes, you just had a horrible ordeal! I think you must have been hallucinating!" Merlin declared dramatically. "That can happen you when drink things you aren't supposed to, you prat."

Merlin had allowed himself a small grin since Arthur seemed to be basically healed (Merlin was quite proud of himself), however now his worry tainted frustration from earlier returned with full force.

"Why'd you do that, anyway? You drank that goblet of bad wine and we barely had time to save you!"

"Bad wine?" Arthur glanced at Merlin weakly. "What, you mean your breakfast?"

"My breakfast?" Merlin almost laughed. "Even I wouldn't eat that for breakfast!"

"Where's my breakfast, by the way? I'm still terribly hungry. Oh that's right, you smashed it all over the floor. Merlin, make yourself useful and get me some more breakfast!"

"Make myself useful? I just saved your life!"

Arthur and Gaius both stared at him, though Gaius looked far more worried while Arthur just looked confused.

"You saved me?" Arthur asked.

"Yes," Merlin nodded slowly. "Yes I did, because I brought you Gaius's cure from the other room!"

Merlin finished with a grin, which made Arthur roll his eyes before shutting them with a sigh.

"_Saved me,_" Arthur mocked softly. "I guess it was rather heroic of you to not have dropped the cure on the way here."

Merlin sighed, before snatching the damp towel away from Arthur.

"I'll go get you your dinner," Merlin told him.

"My what?" Arthur's eyes shot open. "What happened to breakfast, lunch, and tea?"

"You were hallucinating and with a fever," Merlin reminded him. "I don't think you were up for those meals. I'll be back."

Gaius tended to the king as Merlin hurried away, asking more specifically how Arthur felt. Though at first Arthur played his pity card, eventually he said he was fine and told Gaius to stop fussing over him.

"I'll be back in just a moment," Arthur was told by the old healer, and then he was left alone in the room. He closed his eyes to rest, however for some reason the image of Merlin having almost glowing golden eyes seemed ingrained in his mind. Some hallucination; it seemed almost real.

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><p>*Altraim a-nis is Gaelic for heal now<p>

**AN: **_So, what do you think so far? Will Arthur continue thinking about what Merlin did? Will he bring it up? How are the characterizations? (This is my first Merlin fic.) Please leave a review :)_


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: **_Thanks for the favs, follows, and reviews last chapter. Us writers really appreciate them :) Also, just a reminder that this story it totally co-written with **Anna Davenport**, another ff user. Please feel free to check out her stories. _

_Pretty long chapter this time, hope you enjoy!_

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><p>It wasn't until the next morning that Arthur made an appearance in the court and to the other knights. Gwen was endlessly worried when she found out that Arthur had been ill because he'd drunk bad wine. She told Merlin to inform her about such things in the future because for a long time no one could tell her where the boys had disappeared to and she'd been worried.<p>

"Sorry Gwen." Merlin had apologized, all the while indignantly thinking: _I was a bit busy saving his life, as usual_.

Morgana appeared equally worried about Arthur, and she checked over and over to make sure he was alright. For at least a half hour she asked again and again if Arthur was sure that he was well, if there was anything she could do for him, and told him how she was 'very relieved that he was feeling some better, though he should continue to rest until he was sure he would be alright.'

Merlin, who was standing in a doorway during most of this, ground his teeth together in frustration. He didn't trust her. No matter how much he wanted to, he simply couldn't trust her after everything she had pulled, and yet he couldn't tell anyone but Gaius how uneasy she made him feel.

After approximately a half hour, Morgana seemed to be sure that Arthur wouldn't keel over, and so she turned to exit the hall. As it so happened, she began to walk out of the door where Merlin was leaning against the frame. When she saw him, her eyes widened, and then narrowed.

"You had better be sure no more _bad wine _finds it's way into the king's hands, shouldn't you Merlin? Surely you wouldn't want him to be drinking _bad wine _that's laying around Gaius's chamber, or worse yet your own, would you?"

Merlin swallowed, shaking his head and quickly uttering that no, of course he wouldn't.

"That's good. After all, Arthur is all that Camelot has now, isn't he? I'll see you later, Merlin."

With that, Morgana hurried away leaving Merlin with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. She made him jumpy and completely on edge, a feeling that he could never quite get used to… Perhaps he should follow her, just to make sure she wasn't up to something?

"Merlin," Arthur called. "Can you come here?"

'_Now what does he want?' _Merlin thought to himself. Still, he forfeited the idea of following Morgana and hurried to help Arthur instead.

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><p>Morgana's steps echoed in the hall as she hurried to her chambers. Once inside, she called out to see if Gwen was around. Once she realized she was alone, Morgana locked the door and let out a chuckle of victory. Arthur had drunk 'bad wine' that just happened to be sitting on Merlin's table in a golden wine goblet? This was simply to perfect. Morgana completely doubted that Merlin had meant anything to happen to Arthur, but the circumstances were terribly suspicious and didn't lean in Merlin's favor in any way.<p>

And there was another thing; how had they saved Arthur from the 'bad wine'? Of course Gaius probably had cures for such things, but it was worth asking Arthur, just to see if there were any more suspicious details she could gather.

Ever since Merlin had learned about Morgana's involvement with Morgause, she knew a simple statement to Arthur could potentially send her to the dungeons. Of course, Merlin would probably never do that because he knew that no one would believe him. To many times Merlin had made accusations and gotten in trouble for them. Morgana had changed and saved the kingdom, at least that's what everyone else thought, and accusing her of anything would only make Merlin look like more of an idiot then Arthur already thought he was. Yet the threat was there and it made Morgana uneasy.

She paced as she thought about what she could do to push the trust Arthur had for Merlin over the edge. She had seen the strange looks Arthur had given Merlin as he had assured Morgana that he was perfectly alright, that the wine had probably just sat out too long. All of them knew what a pitiful excuse it was; wine that sat out just tended to ferment, not make someone sick for a day. Perhaps she should go talk to Arthur about this fact- casually of course. Not today, though, Arthur likely wanted some time alone to think. The more Arthur thought about the events, the more he might question why the bad wine was sitting out like that.

It was all absolutely perfect.

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><p>Merlin helped Arthur back to his chambers before asking if he needed anything. After a moment, Arthur watched as Merlin left the room, and he remained standing for a minute before walking to his bed and collapsing. He still felt a lingering exhaustion from the "bad wine" and it made him want to fall asleep then and there. However, every time he closed his eyes, he was greeted with the sight of Merlin's eyes glowing gold. He just could not get the image out of his mind!<p>

He knew that he'd been hallucinating, and yet it had seemed so real! Beyond that, his mind kept traveling to why the wine was bad in the first place. Merlin had never explained that.

Did wine really go bad from just sitting out? Arthur wasn't sure; he made a mental note to ask Gwaine later. Arthur knew Gwaine was the expert on all things concerning wine.

As of now, however, Arthur didn't feel like he wanted to be asking anyone anything. Instead he sighed and promptly fell asleep.

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><p>Merlin exited Arthur's chambers and softly closed the door, sighing in relief. Arthur hadn't mentioned his magic yet and Merlin could only hope that he hadn't seen it or assumed that he had been hallucinating. He hurried through the halls, partly hoping he would run into Morgana so he could find out if she was up to anything suspicious, and partly never wanting to see Morgana again. Morgana had disappeared, however, so he reached Gaius's rooms without incident.<p>

Gaius was waiting inside, his foot tapping the ground, and Merlin spared him a grin before he attempted to escape to the safety of his own room. He wasn't so lucky.

"Merlin," Gaius cleared his throat. "Wait just a moment."

"Well, actually I kind of have to clean my room, so if you'll excuse me," Merlin attempted, however one glare from Gaius made him stop in his tracks and slowly sit down on a nearby stool. Merlin played with his hands distractedly.

"Merlin," Gaius spoke, and Merlin glanced up quickly.

"Mm hm?" Merlin smiled slightly.

"Why did you put the rat poison in a wine goblet?"

"Well," Merlin hesitated. "Well, I… I didn't know Arthur would go in there; he doesn't normally, ever. And I had just finished it, so I was going to pour it around the rooms, and the cauldron is kind of heavy. You've got to admit it's kind of heavy. Don't you think it's kind of heavy?"

Gaius raised his eyebrow at Merlin as if to say, _That is not an excuse, _and said, "Merlin how many times have I told you…"

Merlin grinned at Gaius.

"To do all my experiments in my room? I did do my experiment in my room. Because its the one place Arthur never goes!" Merlin was smirking because for once he had listened.

"What about making the antidotes concurrent to the poisons?" Gaius asked and smiled as Merlin's face fell.

"Well, next time," Merlin promised. "At least I got the first part right!"

"Merlin this time is when Arthur drank it," Gaius pointed out. "You're lucky a full fledged investigation hasn't been put into play."

Merlin glanced down, not quite sure what to say to that.

"I think you'd best do some extra chores for Arthur for a while," Gaius told Merlin. "But now you can rest; you spent all day and yesterday working quite hard."

"Thanks," Merlin smiled at the old man. "I guess I can muck out his horses doubly well or something."

Gaius smiled, "I am sure Arthur will have no trouble finding you extra chores to do."

Merlin groaned at the thought of polishing Arthur's armor, cleaning his room and polishing boots for hours on end.

"Well, I'm going to rest right now," Merlin told Gaius. "All of that is tomorrow's problem."

Gaius sighed as the young man scurried into his room, and then Gaius turned back to his work. Merlin must have all the luck in the world on his side or he'd have been in miles of trouble that even he couldn't get himself out of, long ago.

Despite Arthur's flaws, Gaius was glad that the king was forgiving; also that the king was lacking a little common sense. Had he common sense, Merlin's luck might have run out a while ago.

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><p>"Extra chores? Okay, well you can go out and muck the stables out, and then shine my armour, then you could beat my rug to get all the dust out, that hasn't happened in a while. Could you organize my wardrobe? Oh, and don't forget lunch! Also all of your standard chores of course."<p>

"Of course," Merlin forced a grin and walked toward the door.

"And Merlin…" Arthur called, waiting until Merlin turned to face him. "Take my dogs for a walk would you?"

"My favorite part of the day," Merlin told Arthur sarcastically. The sarcasm appeared lost on Arthur, who simply nodded and went back to whatever he'd previously been doing.

Arthur, who had been writing a letter, signed it quickly and then stood, stretching. He felt much better now that the whole "bad wine" thing was a few days in the past. It was time he go out and talk to the knights. He hadn't trained in several days now and while he was there he could ask Gwaine about wine's poisonous qualities.

"Arthur, glad to see you up and about."

Arthur turned to see Morgana hurrying to catch up with him.

"Morgana," he smiled at the dark haired woman. "Yes, I feel fit as a fiddle, thanks to Gaius…"

Arthur trailed off, causing Morgana to step forward, appearing worried.

"What about Gaius?" Morgana asked.

"Oh, nothing about Gaius," Arthur laughed easily. "It's nothing."

"No, tell me what's worrying you, Arthur," Morgana stared into Arthur's eyes. "I can tell something is troubling your mind. Tell me, perhaps I can help you?"

"Really, it's nothing," Arthur laughed again, however his creased brow only caused Morgana to look more worried.

"It's why it was there that has you worried, isn't it?" Morgana nodded at Arthur. "Like you said; it had probably just sat out for too long, right? Surely there isn't more to the story, you don't think? There is something else that has you worried as well!"

"Really, I.. Well," Arthur glanced away. "Just strange dreams is all. I'm sure Guias has something that could help with that?"

"Strange dreams?" now Morgana appeared even more curious.

"Yes, apparently I was hallucinating and now I keep imagining Merlin with these glowing eyes. It's the last time I drink," Arthur hesitated. "Wine that's bad."

"Glowing eyes?" Morgana's voice was filled with worry as she took in this information.

Arthur immediately picked up on the tone of her voice. "Do you know something Morgana?"

Morgana shook her head but then spoke, "The only time I saw eyes that were glowing… They were golden. It was Morgause. When she kidnapped me, her eyes glowed golden when she would recite a spell or use magic of any kind."

Arthur looked worried for a moment, before he laughed, seeming to think that Morgana was joking. When realized that she wasn't, he shook his head.

"No, no it's Merlin," Arthur laughed. "Merlin, you know? Merlin."

Arthur hesitated for a moment, thinking hard, before he again repeated. "No, no it's Merlin. He's not… He's not a _sorcerer_ of all things. Of course, his eyes were golden… But it's Merlin! He bumbles around so much he'd never be able to do anything like that…"

Arthur trailed off again, Morgana's worried eyes scrutinizing him carefully.

"Arthur?" Morgana asked softly, pulling Arthur from his musings.

"Huh? Oh, Morgana, I'd better go, you know. I need to train with the knights today," Arthur walked off toward the field, leaving Morgana staring after him, a look of confusion playing over her face for a moment. Merlin had glowing eyes? Surely not, however when she thought about, was it possible? Her face became one of victory a few moments later when she realized that, whether he did or he didn't, Arthur was already second guessing himself and his servant.

Of course Camelot wasn't built in a day, but trust could be broken in a second, and her seconds were quickly coming together. Now perhaps she should go talk to Merlin.

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><p>Merlin was in the stables, brushing Arthur's favorite horse, when he heard a noise at the door. He turned to see Morgana standing there.<p>

"My Lady Morgana." he said, "Would you like to go riding?"

Morgana said nothing, instead she stepped further into the stables, causing Merlin to shift uneasily. He plastered a smile on his face anyway, swallowing his unease.

"A ride might be nice," she nodded after a moment. "Would you care to join me?"

"My Lady Morgana, I, I don't think..." Merlin trailed off uneasily, and Morgana nodded once.

"I see. Well then go ahead and saddle just my horse. It's good Arthur is feeling better, isn't it? He's even out training with the knights. I overheard him asking Gwaine about bad wine; probably wants to know why wine which has been sitting out might make one ill."

Merlin dropped Morgana's saddle, however with a slightly uneasy chuckle he hurried to pick it up.

"Poor thing was hallucinating too. Did you know that, Merlin?"

"Hallucinating?" Merlin glanced at Morgana before hurrying to finish with the saddle. The sooner she was gone, the happier Melin would be.

"Yes, he thinks you're a sorcerer."

Merlin froze, forgetting to breathe for a moment before his breath came in horrified little gasps.

"Not really, of course," Morgana continued cheerily after a moment, however her intense gaze made Merlin hurry to get back to work. "After he drank the wine he thought he saw something that surely couldn't have been true, could it, Merlin?"

"Yes, yes, I remember. He, he was hallucinating," Merlin turned back to Morgana, his voice tripping over itself. "Your horse is ready. I had better get back to work. Arthur has given me extra chores, you know."

"Shouldn't you finish in the stables first? After all, you wouldn't want to leave something undone, now would you?"

Merlin nodded wordlessly, however as he began to exit the horse's stall, Morgana stopped him, her voice low.

"Remember, Merlin, you may think you're Arthur's friend, and he may think you're an entertaining servant, but that's all that you are: a servant. Don't you think for a minute that I am fooled by what has occurred. You are doing things behind his back. There is no reason why wine would go bad simply by sitting out. You had better keep a low profile, Merlin, or Arthur might start suspecting things, mightn't he? Remember, he is a king, and I too am like royalty. Our word is law, and what is your word worth? Nothing in the eyes of the law. Should anything happen to Arthur, all eyes might just turn to you. Just keep that in mind, servant."

Merlin swallowed, his eyes shining with hurt, and he turned to leave the stables. He hesitated before he departed, however, to hang the curry on the wall and refill Arthur's horse's water.

"The stables are finished," he muttered just loud enough for Morgana to hear. "Have a good ride."

And then he disappeared out the door, unaware of Morgana's smirk of victory.

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><p>Merlin walked back toward Arthur's chambers with a worried frown on his face. Morgana was plotting something, yet Merlin was powerless to tell Arthur anything; he'd never believe him. Merlin was glad that Arthur thought he was hallucinating about Merlin's magic, or at least Merlin was pretty sure that was what Morgana was getting at when she told him what she had in the stables. Then again, Morgana seemed to know something. The way she had been looking at him, as if she could see right through him, was unnerving and it made him shiver subconsciously.<p>

Yanking open the doors, Merlin surveyed Arthur's chambers and was quick to pick up a shirt which was hanging on the curtains. How in the world had that gotten there? Sometimes Merlin really wondered about Arthur. Unless it had somehow inadvertently gotten there because of Merlin… He wouldn't mention it to Arthur.

Finally Merlin decided that the room was tidy enough, and so he paused in the peaceful quiet of the king's chambers to puzzle over the Morgana problem. What if he did tell Arthur that Morgana had behaved strangely toward him? He didn't have to say it in so many words, but if he could just talk to Arthur alone and mention _something. _Uther was no longer king, after all, perhaps his son would be more understanding should he learn about Morgana's true nature.

With a definite nod, Merlin decided he would try to talk to Arthur and say something-or-other about Morgana just to gauge Arthur's feelings, and then Merlin could work from there. It was as good of a plan as any.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>_What did you think? Morgana is plotting, and Merlin is attempting to plot; what do you think of their plans? How were characterizations? Please review and tell your opinions :)_


	4. Chapter 3

**AN: **_So, once again this was co-written with **Anna Davenport**, and lucky for you readers we've gotten a lot written recently, so I should be updating soon! The hurt/sad Merlin doesn't really start until next chapter, but you get kind of a first glimpse here._

_Thank you all so much for your reviews! Please keep them coming :)_

_Also, totally off topic, but for any of you Gwaine fans, Imagine Dragons just came out with a new album and I think their song Polaroid totally fits him. ANYway, on with the story! _

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><p>Merlin woke up early, immediately remembering that today he was going to talk to Arthur about Morgana. He wasn't sure yet exactly what he'd be saying, but he figured he could make it up as he went along. That tended to work out moderately well for him.<p>

He hurried out into the hallway, glad that Gaius was currently in the lower town caring for the people after the recent measles outbreak. Merlin soon arrived at the doors to Arthur's chamber and pulled them open, expecting the king to still be fast asleep. He was shocked when he found that the king was not in bed and in fact already dressed.

"Sire!" Merlin exclaimed, staring at Arthur in shock, jaw dropped and eyes wide.

"Yes, Merlin?" Arthur replied looking up at his manservant.

"You're dressed, and awake!"

"Yes Merlin, I think to be dressed I'd have to be awake," Arthur looked back down at the letter he was reading.

"Well... I mean... How?" Merlin spluttered.

Arthur stared at his servant and said, "I can do some things on my own, you know. I am not incompetent, unlike some people I know."

Here he gave a pointed glare in Merlin's direction.

Merlin gave an indignant snort, "I am perfectly capable of doing everything on my own. I even help you do everything; make you get up, dress, write your speeches... Everything!"

Arthur rolled his eyes, before commanding Merlin to go get his breakfast.

"I thought you were not incompetent and could do things on your own?" Merlin grinned madly. Arthur frowned and prepared to yell at Merlin, however the servant turned and called back to Arthur. "I'll just go get it."

Arthur shook his head, returning to his papers.

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><p>Merlin hurried down to the kitchens to grab a plate consisting of cheese, meat, and bread, when he noticed that Gwen was also down in the kitchens.<p>

"Hello Merlin," Gwen smiled brightly as she fell into step beside Merlin, both of them going toward the royal wing. "Heading to give Arthur breakfast?"

"Yes, he's very independent except when he's being himself," Merlin informed her. "Isn't it a little late to be getting Morgana breakfast?"

"She came in really late last night, so she woke up later. She seems to be in a good mood, though, lately. Seems to think things are turning for the better."

With a jolt, Merlin was reminded that he had to talk to Arthur about Morgana.

"Hey, I'll see you later!" Merlin told Gwen as he ran towards Arthur's chambers. Gwen waved after him, chuckling at the enthusiastic young man's antics.

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><p>Merlin burst into Arthur's chambers without knocking and ran straight into the prince, spilling food everywhere before he fell down in a heap on the floor.<p>

"Oh, hello Arthur," Merlin glanced up at the king, who raised an eyebrow.

"Hello," he nodded down at the servant, "I was going to give you the morning off, as I am training with Gwaine, Elyan and Percival, but your chore list now includes scrubbing the floor and mucking out the stables. Go and fetch me my breakfast... Again!"

"Yeah yeah, I'll get to that at some point. Now, I've got to tell you something!"

Arthur opened his mouth to yell at Merlin for being insolent, however, he shut his mouth when he noticed that a new look came over Merlin's face.

"Now what's on your mind?" Arthur sighed seeing that Merlin really did have something important to say.

"Look I don't know how to say this but, well, Morgana and I... I mean, she told me... We are..."

"Look, Merlin, I know you have a thing for Morgana but I really don't need to know what all goes on between the two of you."

"No, you don't understand!" Merlin persisted, blushing bright red at the thought of him and Morgana doing anything together, romantic or not. "I'm loyal to you! I mean, you don't understand!"

Arthur stared at Merlin like he had two heads, "Merlin don't be too disappointed by this but I love Guinevere."

"No no, Morgana was saying something to me the other day, and it was bad!"

"Bad?" Arthur asked, looking just the slightest bit concerned, though whether that emotion was directed at Morgana or himself, Merlin was unsure.

"Yes, in the stables the other day, she was just, I mean... Well... Morgana, she said something to me and it hurt my feelings." Merlin tried to continue just as the door opened and Morgana walked into the room.

"Hello brother dear," she said in a sickenly sweet tone.

"Hello Morgana," Arthur glanced at his sister. "Merlin was just telling me about something that occurred in the stables. He said you hurt his feelings? What is it Merlin?" He noticed Merlin waving his hands to late to stop Arthur from speaking.

"Nothing..." Merlin muttered seemingly sinking into the shadows in the back of the room as Morgana's eyes turned cold.

"I hurt your feelings?" Morgana's voice was very sweet, despite her icy eyes, and it made Merlin swallow. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize reminding you of the fact that you poisoned Arthur would hurt your feelings."

"What? I didn't!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I meant that poisoned wine you left for Arthur to drink."

"But, I mean, I didn't know that he'd drink it! No, that came out wrong," he muttered almost to himself. "I didn't mean to say that."

"You mean you knew the wine was bad? That it was poisoned?" Arthur's jaw dropped.

"No! I mean, yes but you weren't supposed to be my room! I mean, I might have known it was bad, but I only knew because Gaius wanted me to figure out if it was poisoned and it obviously was."

"So you left it for me to drink?" Arthur questioned.

"Don't blame Merlin," Morgana spoke up before Merlin had a chance. "It's not his fault he spent last night in the tavern and can't think straight. Clearly he's saying things he doesn't mean to tell you."

"So you were going to leave me thinking the whole thing was an accident?" Arthur turned to Merlin, who shook his head desperately.

"It was a mistake!" He defended. "I never meant for anyone besides Gaius and I to get anywhere near that cup."

"Of course not," Morgana nodded sympathetically. "You couldn't have guessed who'd come along and drink your poison. Though, forgive my curiosity, it does beg a question. Why were you making poison?"

"Well, I, it was for the rats and, and.."

"So you were making, not testing poison!" Arthur spoke up.

"Why was it in a cup if it was for rats?" Morgana asked.

"Well," Merlin stuttered. "I was... Uh... I was going to... to dunk bread bits in the cup and lay them out for the rats, but then I decided that the small amount of toxins in the poison wasn't enough to kill me just make me ill so I was going to drink a sip or two to see if it would work..."

"Well it certainly made Arthur sick," Morgana nodded. "Did it not, dear brother?"

"Yes it did," Arthur replied, frowning at the now slightly shaking and quite nervous servant.

"Well, brother, I would like to talk with you... Alone!" She emphasised shooting a cold glare at Merlin and grinning as he excused himself and practically ran out the door.

Merlin shut the door quickly behind himself, breathing hard as his mind raced. That had not gone according to plan whatsoever. Now instead of gaining Arthur's sympathy, Arthur was probably trusting him even less. It was time for more drastic measures since clearly Morgana was gaining the upper hand in the battle over Arthur's trust.

With that thought, Merlin rushed to talk to Gaius. He ran up the stairs to the apothecary and flung open the door.

"For heavens sake my boy!" Gaius said, placing a hand over his heart and turning to look at his ward. "What is the matter?"

Merlin started talking a mile a minute. "ArthurandMorgana wereganginguponme! Theywouldn'tstopaccusingme ofpoisoningArthuronpurpose... Iwouldn'tdothatGaius, Ireallywouldn't. Youbelieveme, don'tyou?"

Gaius placed a hand on his young ward's shoulder and said, "Slow down and say that again. I didn't understand very much of that."

Merlin repeated himself, nearly bursting into tears at the end of his question to Gaius.

"Don't you believe me?" Merlin's bottom lip trembled, and Gaius sighed, nodding his head as he awkwardly patted the boy's back.

"I did warn you that this could happen, but of course I believe you. I was there when you saved him. Now, dear boy, calm down. You say Morgana was accusing you?"

Merlin nodded pitifully, and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, sniffing loudly.

"Yes, she was saying that I poisoned Arthur! On purpose! I would never do that, Gaius," Merlin was starting to sound distressed again and Gaius quickly calmed him down.

"And you say Arthur took part in these accusations?"

"Well, sort of. He seemed to agree with Morgana, and kinda followed along with her. I didn't tell you, but yesterday she kind of, I don't know, talked harshly to me. I tried to talk to Arthur and then it all went wrong! Morgana came in and started questioning me, and I didn't know what to do!"

"Why don't you just sit down. Now, has Arthur mentioned you magic?"

"No, but Morgana said that he thought that I was magic, but then said that he was hallucinating and he didn't mean it, and I don't know what she thinks!" Merlin swallowed hard. "What do I do?"

"Only once you converse with the Great Dragon will you be able to decide."

"Oh, well gee thanks. That was plenty helpful," Merlin said sarcastically. "And I'm sure the dragon's answer will be ever so clear and demystifying!"

"You may be surprised, sometimes the Great Dragon had very important information that could unlock great secrets."

Merlin sighed and wiped at his eyes.

"I suppose I'll have to wait until tonight," Merlin told Gaius. "Hopefully nothing happens before then."

"Now, Merlin, perhaps you should go do some of your chores to get your mind off all of this. Oh and Merlin, try to stay away from Morgana."

"Well I certainly wouldn't go seek her out," Merlin swallowed.

"Sometimes I wonder if you do seek out trouble, the way it finds you. Now, be off!" Gaius told Merlin, who nodded and attempted to plaster a smile on his face before walking out into the halls.

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><p>Late that night, Merlin rose from his cot and snuck into the main room of the apothecary where Gaius was fast asleep. Merlin snuck out and creeped by Gaius' sleeping form, wincing as the wooden planks creaked and Gaius shifted slightly before settling once more.<p>

Merlin snuck out the front gates after distracting the guards, thinking the whole way that the guards really needed more training as they were far too easy to slip past, he would have to mention that to Arthur in the morning once he got back... Then he winced remembering the way Arthur had treated him and he hurried in his journey to a large clearing he always used when calling the dragon.

"O drakon, e mala soi ftengometh tesd'hup anankes! Erkheo!" Merlin called loudly, sinking into the grass as he watched the sky for the form he knew would soon appear.

Indeed, before long, the trees began to shake and tremble with the fierce wind the dragons wings created as he flew. When he landed, it felt as if an earthquake had shook the ground.

"Why have you called me here young warlock?" The dragon questioned, in a gravelly voice. "This is far too soon after your last need of me, even for you."

Merlin laughed aloud for only a moment before his face turned grave.

"I am in dire need of you advice," Merlin quietly admitted. "It's Morgana."

"Ah, so she is still alive. I told you to kill her when you had the chance, now you suffer the consequences of your choice. You had the opportunity to do what you should have. You may be each other's undoing, if you do not take action."

"Well, it's true that she isn't making life easy... You see, Arthur drank some poison and it was kinda indirectly my fault and-"

"I know the situation," the great dragon interrupted. "What of Morgana?"

"She has been telling Arthur that I meant to poison him, on purpose! And Arthur is believing her! She's him turning against me, but he doesn't see that! I don't know what to do!"

"I can't tell you exactly what to do young warlock but know this," the great dragon paused, then continued prophetically. "Her most trusted warrior will turn and that will be your chance but beware for he will also be your downfall if you are not careful. There will be many who fit this description but only one will be able to help you." With that parting statement that dragon flew off leaving Merlin standing there shouting for the dragon to come back and explain it just a bit more please?

"Well, time to tell Gaius I was right about the advice portion of this whole little adventure," Merlin sighed as he stomped back to the castle.

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><p>Arthur tossed and turned, his mind constantly floating back to his earlier conversation with Morgana. She said that she had indeed talked to Merlin in the stables, and that she understood why Merlin be on the defensive. After all, she said that she had found out some incriminating information about the boy.<p>

_"I mentioned how you had seen his golden eyes, and he began acting very... Unusual. I mentioned also that I had seen such eyes only when captured by Morgause, and rather than taking it lightly, he became even more defensive. He almost acted... He almost acted guilty. I'm sorry to inform you of this, but I thought you'd best know. I'm sorry, Arthur, but we must consider the option that he might be guilty of something. You saw how he acted when we questioned him about the poisoned cup. I don't want to think such things, but he could be hiding something."_

Arthur frowned. Merlin had seemed on edge, but, he reasoned, even Uther eventually crumbled under Morgana when she pushed the right buttons. He would have to speak to Merlin about it tomorrow. Then again, what if Morgana was right? The idea seemed crazy, but Merlin had been acting quite suspicious. Surely he couldn't be inspired by the aims that Morgana claimed, not clumsy kind-hearted Merlin, and yet thinking about it admittedly made Arthur uneasy...

When Merlin came in the morning, Arthur would have to be ready- for anything.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>_Please drop a line and say what you think :) Next chapter will be quite dramatic, don't you worry!_


	5. Chapter 4

**AN: **_So once again, co-written with** Anna Davenport **and originally we had a single huge chapter, but we ended up cutting it into two small chapters, and I'll probably post the other one tomorrow. _

_This is the start of the Merlin!hurt, so be prepared for that. He maybe a little OCC, but take into consideration how tense he must have felt the last few days, and what happens here just makes the dam break._

_Thanks so much to all of you who reviewed, and I thought I'd mention I've seen some people put review name recognitions at the beginnings of chapters, so maybe I'll start doing that :) Anyway, hope you enjoy and on with the story!_

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><p>Arthur purposefully got up early the next day so he could be ready for Merlin when he came in. A knock on the door surprised Arthur - Merlin never knocked - however Arthur called that the person could come in. He was shocked when it was Morgana who came in, not his bumbling servant.<p>

"Morgana," Arthur's jaw dropped, pulling a jacket around himself. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're alright," Morgana looked concerned. "I saw Merlin earlier and…"

Morgana trailed off, staring nervously at the door, and Arthur's brow creased.

"Yes, what did you see?" Arthur demanded. "What is it?"

"Arthur, I don't know if I should tell you…" Morgana trailed off, but after a moment she continued quickly. "Arthur, I'm so worried! We both know how dangerous magic is, of course, and just now I saw Merlin and he… He…."

"He what?" Arthur frowned deeply when Morgana trailed off once more. "Tell me!''

"Arthur, he was just standing there, and then his eyes glowed golden, and then a fire started!"

"A fire?" Arthur's breath caught. "He started a fire by just… By just standing there? You mean, Merlin… No, Morgana, you must be confused, Merlin can't be magic… Can he? I mean, I suppose there have been some unusual occurrences lately..."

"I can't be sure of course but, oh Arthur I didn't know what to do! Even though I don't want to believe it, how could it be anything but magic?"

"I… I don't know," Arthur stammered, looking down at the floor, his fists clenching at his side. "I don't suppose there is any other logical explanation."

Morgana frowned, a sad look in her eyes. "I can't believe… I can't believe Merlin would betray us like this."

Arthur shook his head.

"I can't either," his eyes darkened as the seed of doubt as to where Merlin's loyalties lay grew. "I will question him when he comes in later."

"Yes, I suppose that is best," Morgana agreed. "We must discover what he plans to do to Camelot. For all we know, he could be plotting to destroy the city, or even take action against you on basis of your father. You must take whatever action is required to find out before anything terrible can occur! And Arthur, we both know that he will deny everything, but we also know that we have to find answers before this can go any further! Don't stop for anything!"

Morgana's eyes glowed golden for a moment, flashing at Arthur, who suddenly stiffened, his face becoming strict and harsh.

"I won't," Arthur vowed, determination set into his features.

Morgana gave him a grateful smile and turned toward the door, thanking Arthur as she went. She marched confidently through the halls toward a small hidden room she had discovered. There she could watch and see how the conversation went. Just before she arrived at the room, however, she spotted Merlin hurrying toward Arthur's chambers.

Catching his eye, Morgana gave a dark smirk and then turned down a hallway, leaving Merlin staring nervously after her.

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><p>For the second time in a row, Arthur was already awake when Merlin walked through the chamber doors. Merlin was surprised because today he had made a special effort to be early. As he entered, a feeling of unease washed over him. Arthur's face was far to cold and business like to be normal.<p>

"Hello Merlin," Arthur nodded stiffly, and Merlin returned the nod as he swallowed audibly.

"Arthur..." He began but stopped when Arthur glared at him.

"I don't want to hear another word out of you unless it is yes or no to the questions I am going to ask you."

"But Arthur!" Merlin began, however his face fell when Arthur shouted at him.

"I told you, not another word!" Arthur's voice was harsh, and Merlin swallowed again, his eyes betraying his uneasy confusion and hurt. "Now, did you or did you not know that the wine was poisoned?"

"Well, I mean.. Sort of?" Merlin stammered.

Arthur took that as a yes, "Did you make the poison or was it like that already?"

"That's not a yes or no question!" Merlin pointed out, however he shrunk backwards when Arthur's glare hardened.

"Answer the question _Mer_lin!"

"Well, it was like that already when you came in!"

"Merlin that isn't an answer. Answer the question."

"Well, I might have made it," Merlin blinked and swallowed hard yet again. "But it really was for the rats!"

Arthur's face went blank and Merlin flinched back. He knew from watching Arthur fight, that Arthur showed less emotion the more angry he got.

"In a _cup_?" Arthur's voice was incredulous.

Merlin nodded silently, not trusting his voice.

"Are you insane!?" Arthur yelled to Merlin's face causing Merlin to shrink back against the wall and a single tear to trickle down his cheek.

"Next question," Arthur continued, "Do you have magic?"

"What? Why would you ask that?" Merlin whimpered.

"Does it matter? It's a simple question and a simple answer, is it not? Now, tell me!"

"I… Well I…"

"Answer the question!" Arthur shouted again when Merlin's face became the epitome of reluctance.

"You don't understand, I-" Merlin broke off, and Arthur's face became more enraged than before.

"Answer!" Arthur shouted. Merlin shook his head slightly, and then his heart dropped.

Arthur stepped forward threateningly, and then to Merlin's shock and horror, he gave Merlin a shove.

"Arthur," Merlin's hurt voice was but a whisper, and he blinked rapidly as a moist clouded over his eyes.

"Answer the question!" Arthur commanded, giving Merlin a look he had only ever seen on Uther's face. "Are you a sorcerer?"

"Um," Merlin blinked quickly, blinking back tears. "I'm not a sorcerer!"

"You are lying," Arthur stated. "I've heard from a reliable source that you have recently been practicing magic, now tell me where you leaned it!"

"I didn't! I never learned magic!"

"Stop lying!" Arthur roared, his face tomato red. "Did you learn it from a book? Did you learn it from a person? Do I need to go search through yours and Gaius's entire chambers to find my answers?"

"No, don't!" Merlin shouted before he could stop himself.

"So, there is evidence there?" Arthur's face fell for a moment, before he turned even more angry. "Have you been hiding it under Gaius's nose this entire time or did you only recently start betraying Camelot?"

"I'd never betray Camelot!" Merlin shook his head quickly.

"Fine, if not Camelot, then why me? Why would you betray me, Merlin? What were you trying to accomplish by practicing magic within the very walls of my castle? What were you trying to accomplish by making poison and allowing me to drink it!"

"Nothing, I never thought you'd-"

"Stop lying! You were making poison, and you put it in a wine goblet, just like I drink from every morning. What were you trying to accomplish by killing me?"

"I wasn't! The rats! I... I-"

"Stop lying and tell me!" Arthur shouted, and then a resounding crack echoed in Merlin's ears and his head snapped to the side. It took him several moments before he realized that Arthur had slapped him. Now Merlin began crying in earnest, and he shook his head desperately, flinching back like a kicked puppy.

"No I... I wasn't! How can you think that? Arthur please!" Merlin begged. "I would never! Arthur please!"

Tears began pouring down Merlin's cheeks as he shook his head, desperately trying to make Arthur understand.

Arthur glared at his manservant and stalked towards Merlin, a look of raw fear crossed Merlin's face and he shied away from Arthur and curled up into the corner of the room, between the armoire and the wall, shaking from the almost silent tears that shook his lithe frame. Arthur stood menacingly over Merlin, glaring down at the boy he thought to be a sorcerer.

Something was wrong with this picture, a small nagging voice in the back of Arthur's head told him and he tried to brush it off, telling himself again that it was Morgana who had told him that Merlin had magic. He trusted Morgana with his entire being, she would not mislead him. But the voice persisted, wondering why -if Merlin was a sorcerer- wasn't he defending himself? Most bandits or sorcerers, once you guessed their plan either lashed out at you or began telling you everything about their plans… So why was Merlin sitting in a corner crying like the girl Arthur always said he was?

He took a moment to look at Merlin, and what he saw made him cringe… there was his best friend -not that he would ever admit it- sitting on the floor of his room, crying his eyes out because Arthur had been too hasty.

For a moment, he wondered what to do, and then when a heart wrenching sob slipped past Merlin's tightly pressed lips and echoed through the room, Arthur instinctively knelt down in front of Merlin and after an awkward moment, he gently held his arms out.

At first Merlin attempted to back away, but Arthur just waited and after a moment, he gave a sob and allowed Arthur to pull him into a comforting embrace. Tears continued to drip down his face and soak Arthur's tunic.

"Shh," Arthur gently rubbed Merlin's back and tutted quietly, trying his best to awkwardly comfort his friend. Merlin's fingers dug into the back of Arthur's tunic and he buried his face in Arthur's neck, softly sobbing his woes away, drinking in the comfort of Arthur's arms like a man finding an oasis in a desert drinks it's water.

"You okay?" Arthur asked when Merlin's sobs had dwindled down to soft hiccups and sniffles.

"You- I don't understand!" Merlin shook his head, his eyes wide despite their swollen redness. "Why?"

"I am sorry Merlin," Arthur said, knowing full well that his apology wasn't enough but he had to try. When he'd slapped Merlin, he hadn't known that he was moving till he felt the slight sting of his palm and saw Merlin's wide, shell shocked eyes staring at him.

"I... I understand. It's okay. Things have been confusing and... and I understand, Sire," Merlin averted his eyes.

"No," Arthur said harshly, and winced as Merlin flinched back away from Arthur. "No, it is not okay. I hit you!"

"You were angry, Your Highness," Merlin sniffled. "It's understandable..."

"No, Merlin," Arthur stopped him. "I was wrong! My father always taught me to not act when I am angry..."

"And he did a fine job of showing you a good example of that didn't he?" Merlin's eyes shimmered with anger. "He struck out every day against those with magic over something that happened a score and three years ago."

"Don't talk about my father that way!" Arthur roared and didn't even flinch as Merlin backed up. "He was doing what he had to against the monsters who practice sorcery and magic." He didn't even notice when Merlin's eyes filled with tears once more at his words.

Merlin looked about ready to reply, when the warning bells rang out around the castle. Arthur glanced up quickly, before he leaped to his feet.

"Come on," he said out of instinct and then raced for the doors.

Merlin stared at Arthur's retreating form, and despite himself Merlin's chin wobbled dangerously. Still, he leaned against the wall and pushed himself to his feet, stumbling after the king and wiping tears from his cheeks. What Arthur had said about magic had hurt, but like he had always told Arthur- he was happy to be the man's servant till the day he died. So against his better judgement he ran out the door after Arthur.

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><p>Morgana screeched as she flung the shallow iron bowl away from her against the wall. Trust Merlin to be able to break her enchantment on Arthur, if only for a moment. She couldn't wait any longer. It was time to take this to the next level, and she turned her gaze skyward, shouting an incantation to call her army, men of Cenred's kingdom.<p>

Camelot would not be ready, and finally (if Merlin did have magic) he might have to use it in front of Arthur. In fact, Morgana would make sure such an event would occur, she was ready!

Two nights ago, Morgana had met with the young but powerful sorcerer she had put in charge of the troops, and she was sure he knew what to do. He might have been reluctant at first, but Mordred no longer considered Merlin to be a hero, and Morgana had made sure that Mordred understood that this might be the only chance to get rid of the tiresome servant. Despite his resignations, something unknown had still made Mordred uneasy about the plan.

_"Are you sure his magic won't be too strong and stop our troops' advancement?" _Mordred had asked, but this statement had only made Morgana chuckle.

_Merlin, too str_ong for them? Never, she was a priestess of the old religion, and a powerful one at that. Merlin would never be more powerful than her. Even if he proved too much for her -which she doubted- Mordred would be able to help defeat the servant.

She had been teaching Mordred the same way Morgause taught her, the ways of the old religion. Besides, Mordred would be bringing along three renegade druids who had turned from the peaceful side and were ready to seek vengeance against Camelot.

Despite Mordred's earlier uneasiness against fighting Merlin and Arthur, she, along with the three other renegade druids, had been able to change the boy's mind. With Mordred and the druids on her side, she was sure to take back Camelot.

_"Be ready. When I call you, you will have to be able to lead your army into Camelot at a moment's notice," _Morgana had informed Mordred.

_"We shall be waiting at the edge of the woods. I will await your signal, and then it will only take us mere minutes to arrive."_

Now the warning bells were ringing, and Morgana's face lit up with a dark grin. Success was only minutes away, Morgana was sure.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>_So, thanks for all the previous reviews! What'd you think of this chapter? More Merlin!hurt is to come. Please review!_


	6. Chapter 5

**AN: **_Hey, so I didn't end up posting two chapters last weekend cause I ended up getting really busy... Sorry. Anyway, here's a chapter now, and I hope you enjoy it! And as usual thanks for the reviews last chapter! I changed one thing about Arthur after I posted so you might want to go back and look at the chapter again._

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><p>Mordred lead Morgana's army toward Camelot, the sounds of marching hooves heavy in the early morning air. Camelot rose into view, and Mordred took a deep breath before the called to the soldiers.<p>

"Forward!" He shouted, and without delay, the gigantic army stormed the city. Mordred led the magic users toward the citadel. They had direct orders to find and corner both the king and his servant together, and if he knew anything about the pair, they surely wouldn't leave each other.

Mordred spotted a small group of knights standing before the gates of the citadel, but it took only a few flashes of light before the knights were flung off their feet and the heavy door was flung off its hinges. Mordred quickly recalled the layout of the castle and he lead the group of magic users into the depths of the castle.

The group encountered an uproar and it was surprisingly easy to slip by the panicked servants relatively unnoticed. One of the men with Mordred pointed to a group of knights running down the hall, and Mordred heard one mention that the king was coming this way and to clear the hall. A smile crept onto the sorcerer's face.

"I'll deal with them," the third man with Mordred spoke up quietly before he slipped away to follow the knights. Now the remaining three renegade druids crept down the hall until they spotted both the king and his servant inside the great hall rushing to get out. Mordred grinned despite himself and he hurried into the hall, followed by the other two sorcerers. They flung the door shut behind themselves.

Arthur's and Merlin's gazes snapped to see the three sorcerers grinning wickedly, and then Merlin grabbed the shocked king's arm, dragging him behind the throne as if it were some sort of protection.

With a sneer, Mordred shot a glare at his two companions, who nodded back at him. They knew what to do.

The man on Mordred's left flashed his eyes, and a beam of magic shot past the right of the throne, almost brushing the king's arm. Merlin tried to yank the king more behind the throne, however instead Arthur foolishly shot from behind his 'hiding place' and attempted to skewer one sorcerer. The sorcerer put up a shield and then, with an almost amused laugh, sent a blaze of magic at the king, who ducked behind a pillar.

Merlin watched as Arthur attempted his 'fight' against two powerful magic users at once. They seemed to be toying with him, as none of their attacks were actually hitting him but making him run around and basically tire himself out. Merlin watched as another magic user rose up and made his way slowly toward where Arthur was struggling to keep ahead of the attacks.

Merlin now recognized the third magic user as the little Druid boy, Mordred, whom they had rescued. He raised his hand and started to chant a spell that roughly translated as, "Take his heart and make it mine... Forever to serve till the day he die." Mordred only made it halfway through the spell before Merlin yelled, "_Gescildan_!" And instantly a golden shield popped up around Arthur and he looked around before seeing Merlin's eyes glowing golden. It was only for a moment, and Merlin looked quickly in the other direction, but something made Arthur's stomach uneasy. Was Morgana right after all?

Arthur's jaw dropped, however he was only allowed a moment of shock before the sorcerers changed their attack to focus on Merlin, seeing as the king was adequately shielded and unreachable.

Merlin wasn't sure he could take on more than two of them but he had to try... Arthur was very important to the future of Albion.

For a moment, Merlin considered at least attempting to keep his magic a secret and taking on one at a time, when two of the sorcerers both went large blasts of magic at the same time and he was hard pressed to throw up a quick shield, which made his eyes glow brighter than ever. He knew he couldn't risk a glance at Arthur, and so instead he attempted an offensive against the two sorcerers who seemed to be fighting most.

He threw all caution to the wind and called upon his elemental powers for lightning to strike the roof causing the ceiling to collapse on the two sorcerers. It could have been an accident. It could have not been magic, and for good measure Merlin acted shocked and once more didn't allow Arthur to see his eyes.

He heaved a sigh of relief when they didn't stir from the ground they had landed on. He now glanced over at Arthur only to see Arthur point behind him. He turned around just in time to see Mordred incant a quick spell and he felt as if two of his ribs snap. Merlin grunted in pain but focused on keeping the shield around Arthur, not even bothering to protect himself. He could faintly hear Arthur pounding on the inside of the shield and screaming his name in anger. Probably telling him he had better live so he can burn him at the stake.

"Mordred," Merlin coughed sharply. "What are you doing? Why are you attacking Camelot?"

"So we can bring magic back to Camelot!" Mordred shouted, throwing spell after spell at Merlin.

"And attacking us is the best way of doing it?" Merlin cried incredulously, artfully dodging and deflecting Mordred's spells as if they were twigs being thrown at him.

"Your precious king certainly isn't bringing back magic," Mordred smiled as he finally managed to hit Merlin with a binding spell, dropping the warlock to the ground.

"You haven't given him the chance," Merlin ground out at Mordred tightened the invisible bonds he could feel wrapped around his legs, arms and chest.

"Oh, haven't we?" Mordred spat, throwing a murderous glare at the king. "We have given him almost a year and still nothing has changed."

"And this is going to help?" Merlin yelled. "By attacking Camelot?"

"Yes because, by attacking Camelot, we can overthrow Arthur and crown our own ruler."

Merlin didn't get a chance to ask who that ruler would be, although he thought he already knew, because Mordred was already beginning to chant another spell.

Merlin gasped as he felt one of the small bones in his hands break, and he looked at Mordred with a look of saddened disbelief. "Why are you doing this?"

"I want you to feel the pain and suffering our people have felt throughout the years." Mordred growled, eyes glowing a bright molten gold.

Merlin felt it as Mordred broke more bones in his body, starting with his hand and then his arm.

Merlin thought he felt another rib break when Mordred chanted something unintelligible and Merlin zoned out from all of the pain he was experiencing.

Upon seeing that Merlin wasn't paying him any attention Mordred walked over toward the shield surrounding Arthur.

"Merlin!" He said in a sing-song tone, and when Merlin didn't answer, Mordred scowled and gave the shield surrounding Arthur a swift, but hard kick.

Merlin jerked up and gasped as Mordred kicked the shield, his heart dropping. Merlin managed to break the binding and stumble to his feet, his shallow breathing echoing in the large room. Before Mordred knew what was happening, Merlin had thrown him across the room and against the wall. As Mordred collapsed on the floor the shield surrounding Arthur wavered, flickered then slowly faded away as Merlin crumpled to the ground as well. Mordred took a deep breath, his eyes flashing at Arthur weakly, before his eyelids flickered shut.

Arthur stood in shock for a moment, surveying the scene silently, although his mind raged turmoil. Despite the battle that was outside, and despite the fact that Merlin was clearly injured, Arthur found that he could only stand frozen on the spot, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

It was some time later when the door was flung open and Gwaine burst through the door and skidded to a halt. He quickly surveyed the room, before his eyes fell on Arthur. At first he hurried over to the king, asking what was wrong, but when he got no response, he glanced around the room again. It was then that he noticed the crumpled forms in front of the throne.

Gwaine attempted to find out who they were from Arthur, but when Arthur remained unresponsive, Gwaine decided to go see who it was himself.

The closer he got to the first crumbled form, the more uneasy Gwaine became. He recognized the brown jacket and the mussed dark brown hair. He recognized the small tufts of blue tunic sticking out from where the jacket was too short, and with a strangled gasp, Gwaine fell to his knees beside the man he now recognized as his friend.

"Merlin!" Gwaine gasped. "Arthur what happened? Why aren't you over here? Merlin!"

Gwaine shook the comatose boy, before he turned angrily back to Arthur.

"Why aren't you helping him?" Gwaine yelled at the king.

"He's... He's..." Arthur seemed to struggle for breath. "I knew he was lying but this... Don't you see? Don't you understand? He's a traitor! He's just a lying traitor!"

Arthur let out something between a growl and a sob, before he stormed to his feet, pointing angrily at Merlin.

"Take him to the dungeons and lock him up in the cell my father used."

"But Arthur, that was designed specifically for sorcerers!"

"Exactly!" Arthur replied turning away from Merlin without so much as a glance at the unconscious boy.

"Say what now?" Gwaine glanced down at Merlin.

"I told you, he's a good for nothing liar! A traitor! A sorcerer!"

"What are you talking about Arthur? Merlin, a traitor?" Gwaine shook his head angrily, and glared at the young king, his fists clenched and shaking at his sides. "And besides, he would have told me if he was a sorcerer!"

"Guards!" Arthur called, his shout directed at the door. He prepared to march in that direction, however Gwaine stopped him.

"They're probably still in the lower town after fighting off the army! Arthur, tell me what happened right now or I will not be held responsible for any teeth you may realize you are missing."

"What is there to tell? Time and time again Merlin has recently been acting suspicious, and this is the last straw! Morgana was right, Merlin isn't who he seems. It matters not who he is or who he was to anyone and everyone; he will be burned at the stake in three days time, just as every other sorcerer before him who has conspired against me."

"Arthur!" Gwaine shouted in enraged shock. "How can you say that about your friend who, might I add, has brought you and the knights the best luck we have ever had! You cannot betray him like this! Even if he has magic, he has stood by your side ever since he came here even though you put him in the stocks, and give him more than enough chores for one servant who has to work with you and help Gaius at the same time. And what if he has secretly been doing magic? He is Merlin and he is the least likely person to harm Camelot. If he wanted to do that then he would have let you die one of the times he saved your life!"

"Are you saying you knew?" Arthur sounded incredulous, his face enraged.

"He didn't tell me but I have suspected ever since we started having incredible luck whenever he is around. That and he lit some of those campfires rather quickly when it was raining," Gwaine admitted. His face was humorous for a moment before his expression turned dark again. "You can just keep this quiet. No one need know besides us! He is your friend, and I believe him to be the most loyal friend I've ever met. Don't throw him in the dungeons!"

Unnoticed by the two arguing men, Merlin's eyes flickered as he began to wake up. The feeling of broken bones had dissipated. It had only been magic, he was fairly certain he didn't really have any broken bones. It was then that the sound of the heated argument met his ears.

"It matters not who he is to me or to you Gwaine, he is a sorcerer and that is a crime. I cannot let that go... Not even for Merlin. Not when he is part of the conspiracy against me, along with all of his kind."

Merlin's eyes welled up with unshed tears at Arthur's words and he glanced down at the floor sadly. Then, suddenly, he felt the pull of magic and he looked up just in time to see Mordred throw a ball of fire right at Arthur and teleport away. Merlin quickly slowed time down and redirected the ball of fire into the wall only feet away from Arthur.

Arthur spun around, staring at Merlin in shock before turning to Gwaine.

"See? It is as I told you, he is one of the many conspirators trying to take my throne from me!"

"Merlin!" Gwaine spun to Merlin, confusion taking over his gaze.

"No, it wasn't me! Mordred!" Merlin spluttered, but glancing around made it clear that Gwaine, Arthur, and Merlin were the only people in the room besides the two dead sorcerers who lay on the ground, covered in debris.

"Merlin?" Gwaine asked again, his gaze now conflicted as he glanced between the king and the sorcerer who now had tear tracks down his face. "What are you doing? Why would you-"

"Please, you must understand-"

"No, you are not permitted to speak, Sorcerer!" Arthur spat, his own eyes shining with hurt. "Guards!"

This time, two guards rushed into the room, they're faces betraying their shock when they found the king glaring hatefully at his silent servant who had a single tear dribbling down his cheek. Gwaine looked on with shock lining his face.

"Take him to the cell designed for sorcerers and restrain him!" Arthur demanded, Gwaine shaking his head silently, for once at a loss for words.

"Arthur please!" Merlin begged as the uneasy guards stepped forward and pulled Merlin's arms behind his back.

"You are not allowed to speak Sorcerer!" Arthur said, otherwise ignoring Merlin's plea.

"Gwaine!" Merlin shouted as one of the guards took a pair of handcuffs from his belt and wrested Merlin's wrists into them. His eyes held so much hope and desperation that Gwaine had to avert his gaze for a moment.

Gwaine looked on as the guards took away the person he himself had been defending only moments before. His face showed the inner conflict that suddenly seemed to tear him in two.

Merlin let out a soft sob as he was lead from the room and down the hall towards the dungeons. He didn't speak and he didn't struggle, because what was the point? Clearly Arthur had made up his mind, and even Gwaine was doubting him, what could Merlin do to change it? Still, something just seemed so _wrong _about the situation. Had Arthur meant all of that? Did he really think that his servant was plotting against Camelot? Just because he had magic?

Before long, Merlin found himself in a cell below the castle, shackles with strange markings encircling his wrists. Experimentally, Merlin attempted to use his magic, but to his horror, it seemed almost as if his magic had been wiped away and he hissed as his wrists stung for a moment.

With a sigh, he pulled his knees to his chest, buried his face in his hands and wept.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>_What did Mordred do to Arthur right as he fainted? For a hint glance back at the last chapter where Morgana and Arthur talk. Anyway, please review! _


	7. Chapter 6

**AN: **_Thank you for reviewing! Unlike last weekend, I found time to update again. :-) Hope you like it._

_Thank you to _**CHARLES CHUKU, bubzchoc, tammy henson, **and **guest **for reviews!

_Again, thank you to _**Anna Davenport, **_in this chapter, the Gwaine to my Merlin. (She wrote most of the Gwaine parts, I wrote most of the Merlin parts) :-). Just in general, she's co-writing this story with me! _

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><p>Gwaine tossed and turned in his bed that night, because no matter how hard he tried to get some sleep, his mind kept floating back to the day's events. The thought of going to the tavern to calm down crossed his mind quite a few times, but for the first time in his life, he just wasn't in the mood.<p>

He sighed as he realized that he wasn't going to be able to get any sleep without some help. He sat up and slipped out from under the coverlet on his bed, pulled on his boots and began the trek to Gaius' chambers across to castle. Maybe the physician had a sleeping tincture that could help him. Eventually he found himself in front of the physician's door, and a pang of sadness hit him as he realised he'd really only come here when he was looking for Merlin. Now Merlin was in the dungeons, likely waiting for his soon to arrive execution...

Shaking away his dour thoughts, Gwaine decided that just this once he'd knock. After all, Gaius might want a little warning, especially considering what had occurred today. With a heavy heart, Gwaine raised his fist and knocked loudly on the door. A slight gasping cry inside reached his ears before he heard a clatter and then the old man said that he could come in.

"Hey Gaius," Gwaine greeted the old physician. He winced when he saw that the old man was abnormally pale, and his hands shook slightly.

"Hello, Gwaine," Gaius nodded once. "What brings you here at this time of night?"

"Nothing much, I can't sleep," Gwaine shrugged. "Thought you might have something for it."

Gaius nodded absentmindedly as he shuffled through some bottles.

"A lot of excitement today," Gwaine cleared his throat in the silence. "A lot of... Unexpected turns."

Gaius didn't respond, his absolute sadness clear in the way his mind seemed far away, and Gwaine found himself suddenly shuddering as the walls seemed to close and his heart beat too hard. Unable to keep up his attempt at civility, Gwaine gave a loud sigh and banged his fist the table, which made the old man jump.

"I don't understand!" Gwaine exploded. "Merlin has never been anything but loyal; why would he attack Arthur? I mean, I'd suspected for some time that he had some sort of magic, but I still can't imagine him using it to harm Arthur! It doesn't make any sense!"

Gaius looked at Gwaine in shock, "Merlin might do some things that aren't so smart but attack Arthur? He wouldn't do that."

"I saw him!" Gwaine exclaimed, then hesitated... He hadn't seen Merlin attack Arthur but he had seen the fire ball that hit the wall next to Arthur. Besides, Arthur had said that Merlin was acting oddly a lot lately. Wasn't there something Merlin had blamed the fire ball on? Mordred? Who or what was that?

"Have you ever heard of Mordred?" Gwaine asked, and Gaius looked even more shocked than before.

"Mordred? What about him?" Gaius asked quickly. "He was... is a Druid who was rescued by Arthur, Morgana and Merlin when he was young. Mordred knew who Merlin was..."

"And who is he?" Gwaine asked.

"Now?" Gaius sighed. "I have not heard anything about him for some time but... Merlin told me that was a prophecy that Mordred would at some point attempt to kill Arthur. How do you know about him?"

"Merlin said his name... When a fire ball was sent at Arthur, he blamed Mordred... You don't suppose he was here, and he was the one who tried to kill Arthur, do you?"

"I would suspect him long before Merlin." Gaius said, glancing shrewdly at Gwaine before remarking, "I would suggest you do the same."

"Do you know why Mordred wants to kill Arthur? Is it just because of his magic persecution?" Gwaine asked, his brow creased in concentration. "And another thing, how would a Druid be able to conjure up an army the size of the one that attacked Camelot? I thought generally Druids were peaceful- not the huge army type."

"There could be more to the story," Gaius fiddled with some glass jars before he handed one to Gwaine. "I was told that the men wore the crest of Cenred's, yet I had heard Cenred was vanquished."

"Indeed..." Gwaine trailed off. "I had heard that a sorcerer had taken over."

"Do you know who the sorcerer is?"

"Well," Gwaine hesitated. "A young boy, but he had the help of some unknown sorceress. I think she's remained unnamed and unknown. Do you know anything? Do you have any idea who the person is?"

"Oh, not particularly," Gaius shook his head. "I have only noticed that there had been more magic in Camelot that what I suppose Merlin might have been doing. I can't know anything, of course, but ever since Mordred was rescued, both of his rescuers have acted as if there was something more involved in their lives."

"Both?" Gwaine looked confused, before his eyes widened in realization. "Both! You mean... You mean Morgana?"

"I can't know anything for certain," Gaius repeated, however Gwaine's mind was spinning.

"Is that why Morgana is so cold now?" Gwaine questioned, looking at Gaius.

Gaius sighed, knowing that Gwaine wouldn't give it up till he got answers.

"What exactly are you asking Sir Gwaine? If you are asking if she is cold hearted because she has magic then no that is not why. Magic can be used just like any other weapon can, it depends on the user as to how it is used. Why Morgana is the way she is I do not know. Merlin did not share everything with me."

Gwaine nodded realizing that Gaius had told him all that he knew.

"Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions Gaius," He stood up and walked toward the door, stopping to glance at the old physician. "I will get him out of there Gaius, I promise."

"Do what you can," Gaius bowed his head. "But don't do anything foolish."

"'Course not," Gwaine grinned cheekily before he slipped out of the room, sleeping draft in hand.

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><p>Arthur had gathered a group of knights consisting of Elyan, Percival, Gwaine, Kay and Leon, his trusted friends and companions.<p>

All of the knights faces were troubled and confused, except for Gwaine's as he knew what they were here to be told. They watched their king pace back and forth in front of them, not speaking even though he had called for them to come as quickly as possible.

"Why are we here?" Elyan asked after a moment or two of silence from the young king.

"You are here to be informed about a situation that has arisen," Arthur told them.

"You mean the situation where you just threw Merlin, your best friend, in jail?" Gwaine spat, unable to keep his silence anymore about the matter, and Arthur shot a enraged glare in the knight's direction.

"He can burn for all I care! He is not my servant anymore much less my friend," Arthur replied angrily before he could stop himself, his eyes holding a burning fire and hardness that the knights had never seen on the young king's face. Only Uther had housed such anger in the past, and only against magic.

"What are you two talking about?" Leon asked, "Why is Merlin in jail?"

"Because he is a sorcerer!" Arthur and Gwaine exclaimed at the same time, one of them angrily and one of them indignantly, as if he couldn't believe what the other had done.

Leon was always worried that Arthur would never see any other way than Uther in his ways against magic, that his father's teachings were too deeply ingrained into the young man. Leon had agreed that some magic was evil, like a sword it depended on the user. He had observed Merlin in the past and somehow he couldn't see the servant as being evil. Now he couldn't believe that Arthur would throw someone he joked around with everyday in prison for just being a sorcerer.

Leon was jolted out of his thoughts for a moment by raised voices.

"He saved your life!" Gwaine yelled at Arthur.

"He did no such thing," Arthur stated, eyes burning with rage and hatred. "He is a sorcerer, and they are evil."

Leon shook his head, hoping the other knights would keep the two from blows. Arthur had seemed quite close with Merlin. If he could so quickly turn against a friend based merely on his magic, Leon was worried that Arthur could turn into a harsh king, like his father.

He shook his head once again and focused once more on Gwaine and Arthur.

"Have you even seen him since you sent him down there the other day?" Gwaine spoke up. "Are you aware of his condition?"

"What condition?" Arthur frowned.

"He won't eat, he won't sleep, he just sits there, silent."

Arthur's eyes flickered and Leon decided to speak up. It would be better to still the king's actions now before he did something he'd later regret.

"Sire," Leon spoke. "Are you sure this is the right course of action?"

Again Arthur's eyes flickered, before they hardened.

"The problem of magic cannot be taken lightly. The sorcerer lied to me since I first met him, and now that he has twice made attempts on my life; I know he isn't to be trusted."

Gwaine snarled low in his throat and would have lunged at Arthur in Percival didn't lay a hand on his shoulder.

"He is going to die in there Arthur! Why don't you just burn him today if you are going to torture him like this?"

Arthur hesitated, fiddling absentmindedly with his tunic sleeve as he surveyed his loyal knights. Loyal, just like he'd always thought Merlin was. Merlin had been the first person Arthur had ever, begrudgingly, called friend. Arthur had thought he was kind, trustworthy, and sometimes even brave. He had been wrong.

Merlin had lied to him everyday of his life. In fact he had directly lied when he told Arthur he wasn't a sorcerer. He wasn't loyal, he was a traitor, and yet Arthur had twice pushed back the execution in only two day's time.

"Sire?" Percival asked quietly, and Arthur proceeded to push his chair back.

"This meeting is adjourned," Arthur muttered. "Be gone."

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><p>Gwaine sauntered down to the dungeons and over to Merlin's cell. When he arrived at the cell door he stood in the shadows for a couple of minutes before stepping forward and clearing his throat. Merlin, who sat facing the wall in the back corner of the cell, turned around slowly. He then forced a tiny smile on his face.<p>

"Gwaine." He deadpanned, as unemotional as he had ever been in his life.

"Are you going to eat anything today?" Gwaine asked, pointing to the tray of food sitting beside Merlin.

"I'm not actually that hungry. You can have it, if you like. I know you like mushroom chowder," Merlin shrugged, picking up the bowel despite his shackled hands and bringing it over to Gwaine.

Gwaine shook his head and pushed it back into Merlin's shaking hands.

"You need to eat buddy," Gwaine pressed Merlin to eat just a few bites.

Merlin hesitated, staring hard at Gwaine, before he gingerly took a spoonful and sipped it slightly. He then gave a tiny sigh, sat down, and proceeded to ignore the food.

"Merlin," Gwaine started and quickly knelt down as close to Merlin as he could with the iron bars in the way. "What is wrong?"

Merlin shrugged and a bitter laugh that could easily be mistaken for a hiccup or tiny sob escaped his lips. Gwaine pressed harder.

"Merlin what is it?"

"What do you think?" Merlin let out that same bitter laugh again. "Despite how freezing it is down here, I don't fancy being burned at the stake."

Merlin then avoided Gwaine's eyes as he stared purposefully at the ground, once again pulling his knees to his chest as seemed to be his new habit. He shivered slightly in the dank dungeon air.

"Merlin I swear to you, I will get you out of here... Even if I have to knock Arthur out to do it," Gwaine said adamantly

Merlin shrugged, still avoiding looking at Gwaine.

"Won't that just make me look more guilty? I mean, yes, so maybe I do have magic. Maybe it's true, maybe I was wrong for not telling Arthur, but I never, ever tried to kill him! You must know that! And besides, I'm not a sorcerer like all the others he faced. I'm different," Merlin added quietly.

"Like how?" Gwaine asked, looking at Merlin in shock.

"Well," Merlin hesitated to spill his well kept secret, chewing on his lip. "I… I don't have magic, not like sorcerers. I was born with it. I didn't have any choice in the matter."

Merlin sighed and then added quietly, "You know, if I did, I would have never chosen it."

"Why not?" Gwaine asked, then thought for a moment. "Are you responsible for the times we don't get killed?"

Finally, Merlin let out something that sounded at least a little closer to a genuine giggle, and shrugged.

"Well, sometimes, maybe. It depended. I learned to only ever use it for Arthur when he was in dire peril."

"But tree branches falling on bandits... In the middle of a battle! You had to have had do something with that... And like in the tavern when you threw the plates with magic? All those times you were saving Arthur's life?" Gwaine sounded shocked.

"You saw that with the plates?" Merlin's eyes widened.

"Yeah," Gwaine shrugged, "I thought it was one of those things everyone knew about but didn't ever talk about."

"Well, clearly Arthur didn't know," Merlin sighed, his face falling once again, though his forced an obviously false smile on his face to try hide the sorrow that suddenly filled him.

Gwaine hesitated, "Did... Did anyone else?"

"Lancelot did," Merlin choked out.

"Lance knew before I did?" Gwaine looked angry, happy and sad all at the same time.

"Well, he kinda found out when I first met him. I wasn't so good at hiding it back then, and he mentioned it to me. He promised he'd never tell anyone. He never did."

"Not good at hiding it then?!" Gwaine sounded like he was trying really hard not to laugh. "You are not good at hiding it now! Arthur just isn't very observant."

"Gee thanks," Merlin let out another small and watery, but genuine laugh. "Yeah, well, his royal pratness never was the brightest apple in the bunch."

Merlin sniffled suddenly, swallowing hard and wiping his nose.

"Sorry," Merlin smiled slightly at Gwaine, a small sob escaping his lips before he sniffled again.

"That's it we are getting you out of here," Gwaine threw open the door to the cell and dragged Merlin to his feet. "You are wasting away in here."

"Where'd you get the keys?" Merlin's eyes widened as he stepped quickly away from Gwaine.

"Oh you know, like you said, his royal pratness never was the brightest apple in the bunch; I lifted them off him earlier."

Merlin stared hard at Gwaine before his eyes traveled to the open door, hope lighting his eyes for a moment, before he shook his head.

"I,,," Merlin hesitated, shaking his head a second time, his gaze down turned. "I can't. I mean…"

"Why not?" Gwaine cried. "Princess is gonna kill you in two days!"

Merlin stared back at the open door, blinking away tears as he chewed on his lip in indecision.

Gwaine noticed him about to cry and gently tilted Merlin's chin so he was looking at him. "What is wrong?"

"This will sound bizarre, but even though I know magic, and even though I never listen to Arthur, I always… I don't know... carried out his orders eventually because… Well because he was my friend, sort of. I mean, I always used magic to help him, I never wanted to hurt him! If I leave, then I obviously look guilty. If I leave, I can never come back. He can't change his mind, not that he would anyway. But if I leave, I don't even give him the chance to change his mind. If I leave, I'll feel like I've betrayed him," Merlin hesitated for a long moment, before he added something in a tiny voice."But then again, maybe he betrayed me."

"We will change his mind." Gwaine told Merlin, trying to get his friend to leave. "We will change his mind for you, but right now you must leave or I'm worried he will have you executed."

Merlin glanced at the open door and then with a deep, sad sigh he nodded.

"By the way," Merlin asked as he stepped timidly toward the door. "What happened to the actual guards?"

"I bribed them with mead." Gwaine chuckled

"Is mead your answer for everything?" Merlin asked, chuckling.

"Why change something if it's working?" Gwaine grinned. "Here, lets get those things off you."

Merlin looked confused for a moment, before he nodded in understanding and held out his wrists. Gwaine unlocked them and then winced at the slightly reddened, chaffed skin underneath. Merlin rubbed his wrists self-consciously.

"Come on," Gwaine called, pulling on Merlin's jacket to get him to hurry up.

Merlin took a deep breath before he hurried after his friend. The dungeons were quite empty, though two sleeping guards sat under the stairs.

"I thought you bribed them with mead?" Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"I did," Gwaine said, but when Merlin glared at him he added sheepishly. "And I might have told Gaius I was having trouble sleeping."

Merlin sighed, however he wasn't given much time to lament the sleeping guards because Gwaine yanked him up the stairs by the jacket.

"What, are we just walking out the front gates?" Merlin hissed to Gwaine as they headed up the stairs.

"Yup!" Gwaine said. "Well, actually we're running out the front gates."

Merlin rolled his eyes and asked why Gwaine hadn't come up with a better plan.

"Oi, I have a plan!" Gwaine said as they approached the gates, "Now run!"

As they ran Merlin was surprised to see that neither of the guards lifted a finger as they ran by.

"Who was that?" He gasped.

"Elyan and Percival." Gwaine said, "I told you I had a plan."

"Won't you all get in trouble?" Merlin frowned worriedly.

"Yeah but we won't get into that much trouble," Gwaine replied, "Arthur doesn't know who is on guard duty tonight and I am at the tavern right now."

Merlin shook his head, murmuring something about going to the tavern, before the two friends successfully slipped out of the castle and into the lower town.

They ran for some time undetected, however just as they reached the tavern, loud bells began to ring. Merlin froze and Gwaine pushed him toward the forest.

"Go!" Gwaine said.

"But, Gwaine, they'll discover you!" Merlin shook his head desperately, his eyes wide.

"Nah, no they won't," Gwaine said before pushing Merlin further forward. "Good bye and good luck!"

"Gwaine, wait! Please tell Gaius goodbye for me. Tell him I'll miss him so much. Tell him I'm sorry," Merlin called after his friend. "And tell Arthur I'm sorry too, if you ever get the chance."

Gwaine nodded before running into the tavern.

Merlin stood there for a moment, his eyes shining with sadness and appreciation, before he stumbled toward the exit out of the lower town towards the woods.

He encountered few problems, until he reached the gate. To his horror, a group of knights were heading for that exit, attempting to block it. Merlin shot a desperate look around his immediate vicinity, before a shout caught his attention. Spinning, Merlin saw a second group of knights coming up from the rear.

Merlin shook his head, to be caught now would suicide, and yet he couldn't fight the knights! As two advanced with their swords held out, Merlin backed up nervously.

"Please," he shouted. "Just let me go peacefully! Please!"

To his surprise the first group of guards ran at the second group and one of them raised his helmet.

"Go on, Merlin!" Kay called. Kay was one of the older knights who was now one of Merlin's best friends, along with all of the other knights.

Without a second thought, Merlin ran for the gate, bursting through the group of knights and rushing for the forest as fast as his legs could carry him. He heard the knights running along the road 'searching for him', however he now trusted that as long as he was careful, he wouldn't be found.

Although he reached the treeline, Merlin continued to run, panting for breath when he finally stopped and leaned against a tree, far far from the city.

He had made his choice. He had left Camelot, and he could never go back.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>_What do you think? Please review and let me know!_


	8. Chapter 7

**AN: **_Thank you so much for all the follows on this story! Also, there were a few reviews, and thank you for those :) Thank you to **CHARLES CHUKU, bubzchoc, mersan123, **__and **detectivejigsaw **for reviewing. :) _

_Also, just wanted to say in response to a comment that this story will not have a tragic ending, though we've got quite a few chapters before we get to the ending. Merlin will come back, though, don't worry! There's light at the end of the tunnel. :)_

_Anyway, hope you enjoy this very long chapter!_

_*Written with **Anna Davenport***_

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><p>"Next!"<p>

Arthur sighed as yet another servant walked out of the room. He had been trying to find another manservant ever since Merlin had disappeared, all those long months ago. Arthur still hadn't figured out how Merlin had escaped from the dungeon- it seemed someone had helped him but Arthur had never found out who. He had his suspicions on who it was, but he would never find out. Maybe that was for the best though... That way Arthur wouldn't have to kill anyone for letting Merlin go. On the other hand, didn't he want Merlin dead? He was a sorcerer, a liar and a traitor to Arthur and to Camelot. Against his will, Arthur's mind brought him back to the night Merlin had escaped from his seemingly incapable dungeons...

_The night Merlin had escaped, Arthur had been pacing his chambers desperately, an all out war raging inside his mind. He was so sure he was taking the right course of action, of course he was, so why was he tempted to push back the execution yet again?_

_And beyond that, he had decided he... was more in the mood for something besides fire. Fire was... Messy. Arthur had wanted to change the type of execution to something quicker just because... Well it'd would be easier, Arthur told himself. That was the only reason, it'd be easier. The council hadn't agreed with his sentiments. They had argued that fire was the best way to be sure that the sorcerer was dead. There had been a long and strenuous council meeting about it, which finally had to be called short. Arthur hadn't been hungry at lunch time, so the meeting had continued until long after dinner hours. Finally he had allowed the council to retire for the night, no closer to achieving his aims than before the meeting had begun._

_Arthur gave a deep sigh as he paused in his pacing. Of course the council might be right. Merlin (the sorcerer, Arthur reminded himself) was a traitor. He deserved nothing less._

_A desperate knock suddenly sounded on the doors, and Arthur asked impatiently who it was._

_"Sire," an out of breath voice called. "Merl.. I mean the sorcerer! He has escaped!"_

_"Sound the bells!" Arthur threw the doors open. "Find him!"_

_Arthur had felt a sudden piercing stream of anger, and he rushed rushed from the room, grabbing his sword just in case. _

_"The knights are on their way, Sire," a servant told Arthur when he asked if anyone was currently chasing after the escapee. Arthur hesitated before nodding._

_"Good. I'm sure they'll catch him. I'll leave them to it."_

_Instead of marching out to the court yard to join the search, Arthur hurried down to the dungeons where two guards were rubbing their heads and groaning._

_"How did he escape?" Arthur spat, enraged._

_"Er..." One guard hesitated. "We're not sure."_

_"I think... Er... We were drugged or there was a sleeping spell or something. One minute we were sitting here, next minute we were waking up with splitting headaches," the other guard spoke up._

_Arthur glared at the guards, however he tactfully ignored the empty mugs that had clearly been full of mead. Instead he stalked toward the cell. The manacles were laying on the ground near the door to the cell, seemingly unlocked. Arthur's heart jumped and he checked his belt. The keys were missing!_

_"I'm going to assist the knights," Arthur told the guards. "I suggest you do the same."_

Neither Arthur nor the knights had found any trace of Merlin. Arthur placed his hands on his head and rubbed his temples. Try as he might, he couldn't find a servant that was anything like Merlin. Intolerable, clumsey, entertaining, funny… everything Merlin was! Of course, Merlin had been a terrible servant, Arthur didn't want another servant like him, but somehow every single servant who applied for the job was so _boring_! They did his every bidding without so much as a word, and they didn't talk at all! Merlin chatted Arthur's head off on a bad day, and on a good day he told Merlin to shut up multiple times an hour.

Arthur groaned as he realized he was thinking about Merlin in the present tense again. He'd been doing that more and more lately; he constantly had to remind himself of what Merlin was- a traitor and a sorcerer. Every few moments, Arthur had to reconvince himself of Merlin's treachery, and then he would remember to be angry. Still, Arthur kind of missed Merlin's never ending chatter.

Soon every would-be servant was finished being interviewed and Arthur was no closer to finding a half interesting manservant. Merlin would have called them all bootlickers. Time to go find George again. (Not that he was every any better.)

Arthur was just about to stand when the doors burst open and Gwaine swaggered in, a smallish dark haired young boy following in his wake.

"Hey princess!" Gwaine called, smiling at the frown the King gave him. "I have found you the perfect servant!"

"We will see about that," Arthur said, once again arranging himself comfortably on the throne and staring at the boy. The boy leveled his gaze, unwavering but relatively unemotional. Arthur continued. "Who is he?"

"He's my... Er, cousin from an outlying village. He has lots of good recommendations from some acquaintances of yours who you've probably forgotten by now," Gwaine laughed as if he'd told a hilariously funny joke.

"Where is he from and recommendations from whom?" Arthur glared at Gwaine.

Gwaine faltered, but kept up the charade, "He is from a town in Cenred's Lands, it had no name. I recommend him and so does…" Here he fumbled for a name, stopping short when he realized he didn't have one.

"Cenred's land?" Arthur asked, talking as if the boy wasn't standing right there. "How do I know he's to be trusted?"

"You don't, but here's one thing you can trust. Anyone from Cenred's kingdom is happy to get out, and that's a good enough reason for me to want to be your servant," the boy spoke up quickly.

"And I trust my cousin…" Gwaine added. "Arthur, please, you let me into your kingdom. Allow my cousin a place here also." Gwaine gave the king the best pleading face he could muster.

Arthur hesitated, scrutinizing the young man, before he spoke again.

"What's your name?" He asked the boy.

"Cuilén," Gwaine replied. "His name is Cuilén."

"Cuilén," Arthur sounded skeptical. "How old are you?"

"17," Cuilén spoke up before Gwaine could answer for him.

"Really?" Arthur sounded even more doubtful. The boy did not look 17- 15 maybe, but not 17.

Cuilén and Gwaine nodded at the same time, making Arthur doubt further, but the boy did have potential. He sounded like Merlin, acted like Merlin and even had dark hair like… No! Arthur shook himself, Merlin was gone. He was out of Arthur's life once and for all, Arthur would not subject this young boy to his expectations.

"So, are there any other reasons you want this job other than getting out of what used to be Cenred's lands?" Arthur asked, and the boy shrugged.

"I like a challenge," the boy's eyes glinted mischievously, and Arthur's eyes widened at the response.

"A challenge?" Arthur sounded somewhere in between shocked, skeptical, and humored.

"Indeed, Gwaine has told me plenty. I think it'd be fun to be your servant."

"Fun?" Arthur genuinely laughed. Cuilén shrugged. "Fine, I'll give you a chance. Granted, you'll probably be out of this kingdom by the week's end, but I suppose you deserve as much a chance as any. Gwaine, show him to the servant's chambers."

Gwaine nodded, a wide grin spreading across his face, before he clapped a hand on the boy's shoulder and lead him from the room.

Once they were out and the door closed, Cuilén gave a sigh of relief.

"How was that?" he asked. "Did I do okay? Do you really think I would make a half good servant? Are you sure I should really be trying out as a servant for the king?"

"Perfect! You did great!" Gwaine nodded encouragingly. "Just remember to be a little more than five minutes late waking Arthur up tomorrow and drop his jacket a couple of times. Don't take it to hard when he yells at you."

"I'll be good at that," Cuilén grinned lopsidedly. "Why should I be late, by the way?"

"No reason in particular, I just know you'll never be on time so might as well prepare you for what'll happen when you are. Now come on, I'll show you where you'll be sleeping for now, and then you should be introduced to Gaius. He hasn't been the same since Merlin left. I think we can trust him with your secret. "

Cuilén nodded, trailing behind Gwaine and memorizing the castle passages.

MMMM

Gaius looked up at a small knock at the door. He'd been preparing the sleeping draft that the king had recently started asking for, however Gaius was quick to hide the concoction. No one was to know that he was taking a sleeping draft. Gaius knew that the king's pride would never let him admit it.

"Come in," Gaius called, and moments later the door opened just a crack. Gwaine poked his head in the door and looked around. His gaze then landed on Gaius.

"Ah, you are here! Good," Gwaine lead a young boy into the room and presented him to Gaius proudly. The boy looked around the room with obvious awe, clearly not comprehending the idea that he was supposed to be introducing himself to the physician. He seemed much more interested in the various medicines lining the walls. Gwaine rolled his eyes before speaking up and pulling the boy from his oogling. "This is my cousin, Cuilén. He is trying out to be Arthur's new servant."

"Cuilén! Nice to meet you my boy," Gaius shook Cuilén's hand and then looked at Gwaine, "Does he need a place to stay?"

"Well now," Gwaine hesitated for a moment. "He's just received a room in the servant's quarters, but it's not lived in, and I'm sure arrangements can be changed."

"This big city life is rather new to me," Cuilén spoke up. "I came from a small group of people. Such a large place will take some getting used to. To be honest, I'm not sure I like such a big city, but I'm sure I'll come to appreciate it. I hope to find some way to fit in here, but the more people I know the more it will help, I'm sure!"

Cuilén gave a familiar cheerful smile, which made Gaius instantly like the boy.

"Well, feel welcome to come by whenever you like. Perhaps I can assist you with learning things about Camelot that Gwaine will never teach you," Gaius sent a pointed look at Gwaine, who grinned. "And I can always use a helping hand gathering herbs and the like."

"Thank you," Cuilén said sending a glare in the direction of his cousin. "I'm not sure I want to go to the tavern every night."

Gaius nodded sternly once, before a small grin crept onto his face.

"Gwaine," he turned Cuilén's cousin. "Can I speak to you after you finish showing your cousin around a bit more?"

"Sure Gaius," Gwaine nodded and left, shooing his cousin out the door.

It was about an hour later the Gwaine came back and sat down at the small table Gaius used to mix potions on. "What do you need Guias?"

Gaius gave Gwaine a pointed look, and Gwaine nodded adding an 'oh, I see'.

"Have you heard from him recently?" Gaius asked, his voice quiet. "Anything at all?"

"I wish I could tell you differently," he admitted, shaking his head. "Even with going to the tavern every night and listening to all the local gossip I haven't heard anything of him."

Gaius gave a deep sigh nodding his head. He then changed topics quickly.

"Now," Gaius's eyes held a pointed look that made Gwaine shift uneasily. Whenever Gaius looked like that, he _knew _something. "This Cuilén fellow you have brought into the castle…"

"Yeah, what about him?" Gwaine shrugged when Gaius hesitated.

"He is your cousin?" Gaius asked skeptically, and it seemed to Gwaine that if the old man stared at him any harder he'd start being able to read his mind. Merlin surely must have been better at keeping secrets. Gwaine was simply not cut out for it. When Gaius started questioning him with that upturned eyebrow, Gwaine knew he wouldn't last long.

"Uh... Yeah," Gwaine seemed less sure of himself by the second.

"Really?" Gaius sounded increasingly suspicious. "And where did you say he was from again?"

"A town in Cenred's lands," Gwaine said quickly. "A small town next to Camelot's borders. You wouldn't know of it."

"Wouldn't I?" If possible, Gaius raised his eyebrow even higher.

"No I don't think you would," Gwaine shook his head, seemingly convinced that Gaius wouldn't know where his cousin was from.

"I know many towns near Camelot's borders, actually. For example there is Oxfton, Candor, and also Ealdor," Gaius told him. Gwaine stiffened at the last name and tried extremely hard not to look surprised.

"Ah, I see. Yes, Merlin was also from Ealdor, if you didn't already know," Gaius stared hard at Gwaine, little amusement on his face. "And there is no reason to shake your head at me. Now tell me, what is young Cuilén doing here? And I don't think I have to tell you not to let Arthur know of Cuilén's origins."

Gwaine nodded and slumped over slightly. Now that his gig was up, what did he have to lose?

"Cuilén is from Ealdor," he admitted. "And, before you ask, he is my cousin; well, second cousin.

"Cuilén is also Merlin's cousin on his father's side. And before you ask, I am in fact talking about a man named Balinor," Gwaine straightened up is his seat as he continued.

"I didn't know Balinor's brother had any children, nor was I aware that you and Merlin are distant cousins!" Gaius stared at Gwaine in shock.

"It was a well kept secret. I'm not sure Merlin knows, actually. I didn't know 'till I remembered Cuilén and then did a bit of looking back," Gwaine said, grinning slightly. "Cuilén lived in Ealdor with one of the families, I forget their name, until about two and a half months ago. Their barn caught on fire and his foster parents were killed by a falling beam. He traveled for two months to get here, and found me. He didn't know Merlin or Hunith were his family and Merlin doesn't know him at all, as his family came to Ealdor after Merlin left. Hunith knows of him but not that he is family."

"Otherwise Hunith would have taken him in," Gaius said, knowing what a kind heart the woman possessed, he saw... He had seen it in his ward day after day before he left.

Gwaine nodded, "I have been allowing him to live with me, but I am not sure how much longer I can keep people from noticing. He looks so much like Merlin, some have already seen it and others will yet. Arthur already saw some similarities- I could see it from the way he looked at Cuilén."

"Perhaps that is why he has allowed Cuilén to become his new servant. Each one before has not been sufficient to Arthur, yet he has given this boy a chance."

"Cuilén is very much like Merlin in both physical and internal aspects," Gwaine admitted. "The physical you can see, but he is also very forward; not afraid to speak his opinion, and generally not worried about what people say. He won't mind Arthur's yelling at him. He is also a little clumsy, not as much as Merlin, but enough so that it's a minor inconvenience.."

Gwaine smiled as he thought of Merlin, "I hope Arthur gives Cuilén a fair chance."

"Arthur fires his new servants based on trivial complaints; I think he misses someone who he can be friends and joke with," Gaius told Gwaine. "I don't think Cuilén could ever replace Merlin, but perhaps he can bring back some joy to Arthur. I worry about a kingdom when the king is as cold as Arthur has been in these last few months. It isn't like him, and I can only hope that something soon brings back the Arthur we all used to know."

"I've seen Morgana trying to talk to Arthur a lot, but she doesn't seem to be making him feel a whole lot better…" Gwaine trailed off, and Gaius hummed noncomitedly.

"If Cuilén wishes to stay somewhere besides the servants quarters, feel free to send him here. He is certainly welcome."

"I'll tell him. I'm not sure he's entirely comfortable in Camelot yet. He's just not used to such a big city," Gwaine nodded. "Before he comes here, though, perhaps I should tell you something, since you are the castle healer…"

Gaius noticed how Gwaine's expression had turned uncharacteristically serious, and he nodded encouragingly. "Don't be afraid to speak Gwaine."

"He is a low level empath," Gwaine sighed. "I always assumed that was from Balinor's side of the family since Merlin has magic as well, and you said Balinor was Merlin's father."

"Well…" Gaius trailed off for a moment, before he nodded. "If he was to reside here, that would be indeed good for me to know. Has he always had this… ability? Does he have anything else that would make it… Unwise for him to remain as Arthur's manservant?"

"No," Gwaine chuckled, wincing at the thought. "He's a special kid, but not that special."

"I see. Well, knowing this about him, I realize that it might make it a bit hard for him reside in a place where people come when they feel poorly, but he is still free to come should he wish to. I saw how he was amazed by the remedies around the room."

"Yes, from what I can tell he does seem interested in healing, not that I'd know!" Gwaine flashed a grin. "Now, I'm headed down to the tavern!"

"Gwaine!" Gaius called Gwaine to a halt before he ran from the room. "I do think it's best you send the boy here occasionally. I think he may needs some older guidance from someone a bit more... Responsible, occasionally."

"Responsible?" Gwaine laughed. "I'm very responsible. I'm a knight and everything!"

Gaius raised an eyebrow, and Gwaine chuckled quietly.

"If Arthur doesn't keep him too busy, I'll tell him to come by tomorrow." With that, Gwaine ducked out the door and hurried to find Cuilén."

MMM

Cuilén was sitting on his cot in the servants quarters thinking about what Gwaine had told him about his new "master". In Gwaine's words (apparently taken from the king's old servant) the king was a "total prat", but had a "kind heart". Cuilén had yet to see either quality, but he figured when he began working for the king in the morning, he'd get a good dose of either one quality or the other.

Cuilén knew that this was supposed to be a hard job, as the king was rather picky. Still, how hard could it be? All he had to do was follow orders, right? All he had to do was do the king's chores, right? He'd already been doing a lot of chores at home, how different could this be?

The thought of home made tears spring to Cuilén's eyes, however a knock on the door to his room (more like his cupboard) made him quickly wipe the tears from his face and plaster on a smile. Without waiting for an invitation, Gwaine threw the door open and marched in, slamming the door behind himself.

"Gwaine," Cuilén glanced up, surprised.

"Hey cuz," Gwaine shoved Cuilén off of his bed and threw himself down instead.

"Hey!" Cuilén frowned, rubbing his back.

"Get used to it," Gwaine glared at his cousin from the bed. "Arthur is going to be using you as a training dummy half of the time."

"Oh joy! Remind me how you talked me into being the king's servant again?" Cuilén leaned against the wall, glaring at his cousin.

Gwaine smirked and chuckled lightly, "Don't worry! Just let me know if princess pushes you to far."

"Thank you," Cuilén smiled genuinely. "Considering what you keep saying about him, having you on my side might come in handy!"

Gwaine's face took on a serious look, "Don't worry, he isn't as bad as we all make him out to be. Just let Percival or myself know if he pushes you to hard."

"So, why're you here, anyway?" Cuilén asked. "Surely you didn't just come in here to throw me on the floor."

"What makes you think I didn't?" Gwaine sat up and grabbed at his cousin. "Don't you want to know what happened with Gaius?"

"What happened with Gaius?" Cuilén's face turned worried.

"Nothing much," Gwaine smiled at Cuilén, "He does know about your ability though."

"What?" Cuilén's eyes widened. "Why'd you tell him? I thought you were just kidding about telling him!"

"No, he knew a few other secrets." Gwaine explained, "He is on our side on the subject of magic. Not that you really have any."

"Really? But he works for the king! I guess the old servant did too, but still! Hey, did you say something?"

"No..." Gwaine said, looking confusedly at Cuilén.

"Are you sure? Wait, you just said my name! Didn't you?"

"Cuilén what are you talking about?"

_Cuilén, is someone in the room with you?_

Cuilén looked around quickly, pressing his hands to his ears in confusion as a voice seemed to echo in his head. The question was stated again, and Cuilén noticed that Gwaine had definitely not moved his mouth. Cuilén winced, continuing to cover his ears and suppressing a whimper of confusion.

Gwaine shook his cousin's shoulder as Cuilén covered his ears with his hands.

"What's wrong buddy?" he asked, gently pulling Cuilén's hands away from his ears.

"There's a voice, I hear it! Wait, Gwaine is with me. Gwaine, who is Merlin? He keeps saying it's him, and I hear a voice, and it's him!"

"Merlin!" Gwaine was instantly talking at Cuilén as if it was Merlin sitting there instead. "Where are you? Are you okay? Cuilén, talk to him!"

"Ow, let go of my face!" Cuilén pulled away from Gwaine who seemed to think that he would be better able to communicate with Merlin.

_Tell Gwaine to shut up then I will tell you what to tell him._

"Gwaine, be quiet!" Cuilén snapped. "Merlin won't talk until you are quiet."

Gwaine quieted down to an almost Percival like state.

_That's better, how long do you think he will stay like that? _

"Who knows?" Cuilén laughed slightly, uneasy about what was happening. "But you had better talk fast."

_True true, so you're the poor bloke that took over my job?_

"Everyone keeps saying that," Cuilén answered, shrugging at the hurt look that crossed Gwaine's face at the fact that Merlin was talking with Cuilén and not him.

_Well with his royal pratness I wonder why? Now listen, I need you to stick as close as you can to Arthur. I need to listen in case he needs help._

"How will you listen?" Cuilén asked, confused.

_Well, I can hear Gwaine can't I?_

"What is it going to be? A voice in my head all the time?"

_Pretty much. I don't have to be in your head, but unless you would like to have a troop of small animals following you talking to you, I think this is best._

"What... What part of my thoughts can you actually hear."

_All of them._

"All of them?"

_Yes, every single one of them._

Cuilén paled and Gwaine looked at him worriedly.

"Are you okay?" Gwaine asked in what was probably the softest voice he could manage.

"That is a little creepy, Merlin," Cuilén ignored Gwaine and answered Merlin instead.

_Well sorry, I can't help it. Tell Gwaine he can ask questions now although I can't guarantee that I can or that I will answer them._

"Gwaine," Cuilén said, turning to look at his cousin. "You can ask Merlin questions now."

Gwaine jumped up and asked. "Can you hear me?"

_Tell him that I can hear him, though I will have to speak through you._

Cuilén relayed the message.

"Why can't I talk with him?" Gwaine whisper-yelled.

_Tell Gwaine that if he doesn't stop yelling and start asking serious questions that he won't get anything out of me because I cannot keep this speaking connection for much longer. Listening is easy, however speaking to you will take more time for me to get used to. It takes a lot of my power. _

Gwaine quickly asked a series of questions, "Are you okay? Where are you? Why haven't you contacted us before?"

_In response to question one, I'm as okay as can be expected. There is no reason for you to spend time worrying about me. I cannot tell you where I am. And I haven't contacted you before because before now, Cuilén was not Arthur's servant. I was also unable to contact you before because I was unaware that Cuilén would be headed to Camelot. When he did arrive, I wanted to wait some time before exposing Cuilén to such an usual experience of someone talking in his head. I thought first he should get used to the city, and then learn about his ability. He and I have a connection, I have discovered. I don't know for sure the reason why, but it could be related to his empathic abilities._

"A connection?" Gwaine asked, a puzzled looked on his face.

_I am able to see his thoughts when I wish, and send him mine. Occasionally, I may feel his emotions if they are very strong, and though I cannot know for sure, if he tried he may be able to feel my emotions as well. _

"That's odd," Cuilén shivered after he told Gwaine this.

"Can you tell us how strong his abilities are? And what his potential is?" Gwaine asked.

_His powers are still developing, however if given the chance, he could have the possibility of being a very strong empath. I caution against this, however. Empathy is a dangerous art, not to just anyone, but the one the practices is. Taking on other people's emotions is both a skill, and a curse. I recommend that you use this power very little, Cuilén_. _And Gwaine, be warry. A town as big as Camelot may be difficult for one with Cuilén's abilities. Watch out for him._

Cuilén related this to Gwaine with a frown on his face.

"But what if I want to know more about my abilities?" Cuilén protested. "If I'm a... An empath like you say, why can't I learn all about it and use it beneficially? Can't I help people with it?"

_I have researched this, and I think you should suppress it. True, it could be used for a lot of good and help a lot of people, but I don't know if you understand the cost that would come with that choice. _

Cuilén frowned, however he told Gwaine to ask another question.

"Honestly tell me Merlin, how are you holding up?" Gwaine looked as serious as Cuilén had ever seen him.

Here was a long pause before Merlin answered in Cuilén's head.

_I am living a modest, but peaceful life. There is little to endanger me here, which should make you happy._

There was another even longer pause before Merlin added.

_I've had a lot of time for thinking._

"I'm sure you're happy about that." Gwaine said. "Are you enjoying not having to work night and day?"

_Well, it's a change, that's for sure. I have been doing some studying, and I have found that a dog really is a man's best friend. I took in a feral puppy, there's not much else here to keep me company. I'll probably have to let him go when he's older, he's a pretty wild little dog. I miss Gaius and the knights, though, to be honest. I hope that one day I may find a way to come home. How is Arthur? Please tell me honestly. Does he need help? Does he need anything?_

"We all miss you too Merlin," Gwaine told him. "Arthur is doing fine... I still hate him though. Cuilén was the only one who passed the requirements for becoming The Prats servant." Pride was in his voice as he told Merlin that. "Arthur misses you though, he isn't any happier about the magic and still has a sentence waiting, but deep down he misses you."

Cuilén swore he heard a sniffle from Merlin, though he could have been wrong. There was a pause, before Merlin spoke again.

_He can't look a weak king, he always said his subjects wouldn't want a weak king. Don't hate him! He probably needs your support now more than ever. Please Gwaine, just be there for him. I know you're not really the type to forgive and forget, but at least try the forgive part. Don't question him too much, it'll just make him more upset. Promise me you won't antagonize him. _

Gwaine sighed, "I won't."

When Cuilén told him that Merlin didn't believe him, Gwaine said, "Well I will try not to antagonize him. It's really hard though!"

_He did what he thought was right, what was best for his people, as he has always done. Try to understand that. You __need __to understand that. _To Cuilén, it sounded almost like Merlin was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince anyone else. _Now, I need to stop this connection. I'm so sorry, but I have to go. I promise I will contact you again as soon as possible. Tell Gaius hello for me, will you? Goodbye. I miss you, Gwaine, all of you. Goodbye. I'll try to talk to you tomorrow, or at least by the end of this week. Goodbye._

"Goodbye Merlin," Gwaine's voice was quiet as he bid goodbye to his friend.

Cuilén could almost feel something withdraw from his head as all went quiet, and to his horror, Gwaine almost seemed to have tears in his eyes. Cuilén felt a rush of sadness, and he reached out to comfort Gwaine soundlessly, placing a hand on his shoulder. Gwaine nodded at his cousin, a tight smile on his face.

"Are you okay?" Cuilén asked, and Gwaine nodded, a sort of laugh escaping his lips.

"'Course I am," Gwaine grinned. "Are you?"

"He seemed so sad," Cuilén sighed, leaning back against the wall. "That whole time, his voice was really sad. You didn't hear it, so you don't know, it's just… I hope he's okay. By the way, I had a question."

"What's up?" Gwaine seemed glad for the distraction and Cuilén felt bad about the question he was about to ask.

"Yeah, so since apparently he can hear my every thought, who is Merlin, anyway?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>_What do you think? Cuilén will become a major character by the way, so until Merlin actually returns, perhaps you can get a bit of Merlin-ness from Gwaine's cousin. As far as what he looks like, like we said in the story he is similar to Merlin. The new cover is a picture that **Anna Davenport **and I think could be of Merlin and Cuilén. Cuilén is the one on the left with the blue scarf. _

_Please review! Thanks again for reviews last chapter :)_


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